the dilemma of an ex

i swear, i've had 1 supernatural ability in all my life. i'm not super smart/super strong/super fast but in all my relationships, i've been able to maintain friendships. i've never ever badly broken up w/an ex. i think that merits some kind of acknowledgement as a super power.

but Gohm might be the exception. i've forged through a lot of stereotypical thinking, but Gohm's is 1 that i can't seem to breakthrough. from the whole, "i've got to marry a korean" to now where "exes are not friends," i'm starting to think that he's affecting me more than vice versa. this is not a philosophy i subscribe to. relationships are sacred to me. that's why i don't have that many. and regardless of how things end (tho i've never had someone cheat on me) i truly believe that if they were significant enough for you to date, they're significant enough to be friends w/. they're a part of shaping me into who i am. no matter what, they'll always be important. my next relationship will reflect what i've learned from my last. but Gohm...

i understand that it's always easier to write exes off than to keep them in your life. they're a constant reminder of the lost; of what could've been and what to stay away from. and it's a lot easier to be angrier. but really? can you just discard a whole year or more of your life? that easily? of course, it's easier to discard someone once you've found somebody else. no doubt about that. and let's just accept that that's the natural evolution of life. if you're not destined to be w/that person, it's not like they're gonna be alone forever. somebody is destined for them. and when that fate comes along, you've probably lost them forever b/c as an ex, you're on the banned list of contacts.

but what if you're cool enough? what if you want to keep that person in your life? how? how do you do that? how do you keep an ex? not as a back-up or a what-if but as a person who has substantially contributed to your life and shaped you into who you are?