we all need a little bit sometimes

"Me, I'm used to being tired and bloody
But you believed that I could be somebody.
You put your world on hold for me
Gave away to follow failure through the fire."

                                                                   Hedley, For the Nights I Can't Remember

i don't know how this song came to be on my iPod, but every time i hear it, these particular lyrics always jump out at me. call me a hopelessly romantic sap (yes, pls, go ahead. i admit it), but that's what i want. in an ideal world, i would feel that passionately about somebody and they would feel that way about me. in an ideal world. which we (or at least I) don't live in.

i think it's this aspect of my personality that has allowed Door and i to remain in contact for all these years. Door was my 1st boyfriend ever. we're talking about 7th grade love here, if love when you were in 7th grade can really be called love at all. but for whatever reason, Door and i have managed to keep tabs on each other for the 10+ years since we first met.  we don't talk every day, but instead randomly contact each other probably once a year, which lasts for about 1-3 wks, and then we fade back into the ether.

usually our communications coincide with some relationship crisis one of us is dealing with at the moment. and that is a dangerous game to play.

exes can play a crucial role in bolstering your own self-worth and appeal, pending of course that the relationship didn't end in a horrific ball of fire. because there was attraction in the first place (that's why you dated), to some degree it will always be there. in a nutshell: exes make me feel pretty.  and everyone needs a little bit of that sometimes. even if you're the most confident mofo on the planet, it's still nice to get affirmation from others. and exes are a great go-to source.

but be forewarned, it's double-edged sword. never tread into ex-waters if you don't know how it will go or at least be prepared for the consequences. walk into an ex-situation blindly and you could end up battered and bruised, at least your ego anyways.

happy 55th anniversary to Rosa Parks (thanks Google)

the things i learn by opening Google. and i love the little animations.

speaking of vehicles, i have had an uncanny experience with driving lately. a week ago, while driving home from work, i was mesmerized and annoyed by the car in front of me. i kept staring at it and got that frustrating feeling when something is on the tip of your brain but JUST out of grasp. and then it dawned on me: this car had reverse brake lights. meaning, when the car was moving, the red light at the bottom center of the rear windshield (you know, that small rectangular red light) and the rear brake lights would be on and when the car was at a stop, all the lights would be off.

unique? i guess. annoying? hell yes. particularly if you're the vehicle behind it.

1st, it's unsettling. my brain's been programmed to associate brake lights with braking. how simplistic of it. hence, seeing the lights would trigger my mental reflex to be slow and cautious (that IS what red's associated with). no lights=ok to proceed. 2nd, have red lights constantly glowing in front of you as you drive is very headache inducing. it made me understand why our vehicle lights system is the way it is. constant red lights shining in front of you has the equivalent eye pain of the asshole who keeps his brights on while driving behind you. which brings me to another point: are all headlights just standard brights now?

it being winter and all, by the time i drive home from work it's already pretty dark, so headlights while driving are a necessity. i've recently realized though that a lot of cars have EXTREMELY bright headlights. which is not fun when you peer into your rearview mirror while driving. it's completely blinding (exactly akin to those scenes in scary movies like Joy Ride and The Hitcher). it's hard for me to believe so many ppl are just driving around with their brights/high beams on, which makes me wonder: are brights just the standard headlights now?

finally, in the past week, every day except for one, i've been surrounded by a police car whenever i'm driving. if it's not driving in front of me, it's behind me. if it's not behind me, it's driving right next to me. it's really weird. and annoying.

wow. i've clearly been in the car, driving, for a good length of time. i guess the good part about being in the car so long is i've managed to listen to most of the songs on my iPod including new albums that i'd downloaded but hadn't fully listened to yet. in particular, i've been enjoying the recent albums of Nicky Lee, Kenji Wu, and Danson Tang.







yes, i DO listen to songs other than k-pop. i am an equal opportunity teeny bopper.

however, i have to admit, i'm also REALLY enjoying this song:

when worlds collide

it always feels a little weird when someone or something you know in completely different capacities end up coming together, isn't it? like when you introduce your college roommate to your high school friend and find out that they know each other already. there's nothing wrong with it, it just unsettles your understanding of the world for that 1 nano-second.

i experienced that last night when i was watching Playful Kiss. Around 10 mins into episode 8, 2 supporting characters are sitting in a cafe eating food. it's not that exciting a scene so i wasn't really paying attention and was finishing up some work and just listening to it in the background.

i wish you luck
and i wish it true
that's the best
i can do for you

cause you'll probably find love
in someone new
i have to let go
yeah it's hard to do

wait. what? why am i singing David Choi?

so if i ever see you on the street
i'll pretend that i didn't see
and turn my face
no use in small talk anyways

because if i look into your eyes
then i'll have to say goodbye
and that'll break my heart
so i won't even start

is that "Won't Even Start" by David Choi playing in the background of this cafe scene in Playful Kiss? yes folks, it is!

hmmm, i wonder if he's really that popular in Korea. would i get to see him on Music Bank or Inkigayo any time soon?