How to Not to Get a Second Date

i recently had a slew of dates, which would usually be something to cheer about, except work has been giving me a slight aneurysm lately with all the stress so i wasn't really in the right mindset to go on a date. being charming and witty was just too much work at this point. so moving in the direction of the title for this post, here are a few how-to pointers about what not to do on a date.

1. Do Not Make Your Date Black Out
yes, you would think this is a no-brainer. and this one wasn't entirely my fault.

i met my date at a local bar close to my apartment since he was working near the Brooklyn Museum and wouldn't be able to meet until after 9:00 p.m. this gave me ample time to get home and change (well, 30 mins anyway), which i liked. but of course, as soon as i got home i got into "home" mode where i didn't want to go out at all. you know what i'm talking about. even if the "out" i was going to was only 3 blocks away.

regardless, i pulled myself together and made it to O'Keefe's for drinks. i ordered my usual, Jameson on the rocks, and my date followed suit. we had some good conversation, seemed to get along well, and proceeded to order another round. at this point, i had decided i liked my date enough to take him to my real local, Brazen Head (plus it was closer to my apartment which meant easier walk home later). 


so off we went to the Brazen, where we proceeded to order another round of drinks, this time Four Roses on the rocks. by the last round, i was more than tipsy, having not eaten dinner after work. my date seemed fine, although getting a little handsy, but not in an impolite way, just a flirty way. we didn't even finish our last drink before i made the command decision that i had to get my drunk ass home. 


like a gentleman, my date walked me home and i sent him on his way to the subway.

CUT TO THE NEXT MORNING: i get a text message from my date who is clearly suffering a serious hangover. i think to myself, "ok, that's fine. we did have a few drinks."

and then my date informs me that he blacked out and doesn't remember anything. wha?!?!

which is pretty ironic since i had a whole conversation with my date, who's a psychiatrist, about the medical rationale behind blacking out and its effect on the brain. and it seems he blacked out immediately after that conversation.

so......no second date for me.

2. Do Not Fall Off Your Chair During Your Date
This one RARELY happens to me. i have fallen only twice (including this time) while imbibing alcohol in the since December 2011. hmm, i guess that's not that impressive. 

i had made plans to meet my date at Vintry Wine and Whiskey  on Stone Street. it was actually a very considerate plan on his part since he knew i worked in FiDi and that i enjoyed drinking scotch/whiskey. and the place isn't a bad date option, with dark mood lighting and a relaxed yet classy atmosphere. overall a great place.

except for their high stools and tables. and dark recessed lighting. 

at some point during the date, my jacket, which i had placed on the stool next to me, had fallen on the floor. in an attempt to pick it up, i leaned down and... SPLAT.  it was the kind of loss-of-balance/falling where halfway down you realized it's pointless to fight the gravity so you just lean into the fall. and that's how i ended up on the floor laying on my right side.

my date had enough tact to not mention anything when i got back up to my seat. although i did hear a distinct "oooooohhhhhhhhh" from above the table when i landed on the ground. 

so....no surprise that i didn't get a second date from this one.

3. Do Not Be a Douchebag
This is not based on my behavior (although you may argue that above conduct qualifies me on the road to douchebaggery). i recently met up with ArrangedMarriage (you remember him right? if not, please refer to any of these posts to refresh your recollection). i knew i shouldn't but did so mainly because of the family friend connection.


but ArrangedMarriage really can't help but to fuck it up for himself all the time. i mean, when you think about it, it's sort of impressive how much of a douche he can be. let's start from the very top:


due to work, i arrived 15 mins late. of course, feeling bad, i sent him a text message as soon as i got off the subway to let him know i was on my way. except when i got to the restaurant, AM was nowhere to be seen. so i sent him another text to let him know i was sitting at the bar.


AM showed up 35 mins late. with no explanation. he just walked in, no apology, no excuse, no NOTHING. and then proceeded to wander into the restaurant while i closed out my bar tab. awesome start.

conversation as always was a stall-out for the most part. AM never asks anything about me aside from the cursory, "so how's work?" whereas i learned through dinner that AM is thinking about making a career change, may have to move back to NJ to do so, and is generally fed up with his current job. you might say to yourself, "well, [you meaning me], it sounds like all you did was talk about work with him too Ms. Hypocrite." but that wouldn't be EXACTLY true...

i tried to ask AM about what else is going on with him. since he has no friends there was nothing to tell there (although we haven't hung out in almost 7 months! is that even possible?!). but the conversation took an interesting turn when we discussed dating or significant others.


AM kept not wanting to discuss it because, in his own words, "you might think lesser of me." almost impossible really, but of course i didn't say that to him-instead i blast it out here on the internet.  i just sort of rolled my eyes and left it alone.


as always, the 1 saving grace with meeting up with AM is that i always get to pick the restaurant. so i got to cross Macondo off my list. i'm actually glad i got to go this place with AM instead of my other more food-focused friends since i think they would've been as "meh" about this place as i was. 


when i first arrived, i sat at the corner of the bar adjacent to the street. Macondo also has 4 stools out on the sidewalk, i guess to give it that summer-tropic feel. which would have been fine except there was a serious ant infestation going on in the cracks of the outdoor bar table. it was seriously freaking me out sitting so close to it. and i kept feeling real/imaginary itching and crawling on my legs because of it. ::shiver::

the wine list is very moderately and affordably priced so we split a bottle of rioja ($30). since neither of us were very hungry we opted to order only 3 dishes. but honestly, i wasn't that enticed to order much of anything else for the most part. we ordered the A La Lolita (mushroom croquettes, figs, almonds, truffle trumpet aioli) ($9).  this was the best food item of the night. it's super creamy like a croquette should be and the mushrooms, figs, and almonds give it a sweet and savory flavor. plus it was perfectly crisped on the outside and warm on the inside. it came 3 to an order and i selfishly at 2 of them. 

we also ordered the Camaron (shrimp, roasted pineapple, ginger, aji amirillo, onion, cilantro) ($10). this was a ceviche dish that was good, but nothing special. the shrimp were average sized and the flavor was well balanced, but nothing that really stood out. the Bruselas (crispy brussel sprouts with chipotle aioli) ($6) were ordered mainly to add some greenery to my meal-i've been on a balanced diet kick recently. these were good and crispy, served in a hot skillet. however, they were slightly over-salted, but nothing i would die from (hopefully).


the service at Macondo was very attentive. to the point of being a little overly so. they kept coming over to refill our wine and water, to the point where our bottle of wine was done before all our food had arrived.


after Macondo, i asked what AM had planned for the rest of the night, seriously hoping and wishing he would say he had to go home. after all, it was a Monday night. except of course that didn't happen. without even asking, AM just declared "let's get another drink." since we were on the LES, i suggested Pianos, which i haven't been to in a couple of years. to my surprise (or really, should i have been surprised?), AM had never been to Pianos before, which i consider an NYC institution for young yuppies who want to drink and dance. so off we went.


and this is where i hit my final straw: so in order to make some conversation, i again brought up the topic of AM's recent romantic situation and again AM deferred, saying that i would "think less" of him. so i re-assured him that it wouldn't be the case and then shared a story of my own recent entanglement and the hijinxes i've been involved in (i did NOT share the 2 above stories). AM continued to defer, so i jokingly declared i would try to guess the "horrible" activity he was involved in. the only facts i had to go on were that it involved a co-worker of his.


i began by saying, "let's at least rule out some impossible situations, right?" and thinking of the most heinous thing that could happen and clearly that AM would never engage in such conduct, i suggested rape. and this was AM's response:


"i refuse to admit or deny that that happened."

WHA?!?!?!?!?! REALLY?!?!?!?!?! so you want me to think that you might have raped your co-worker? 

and....date done. never to be repeated. EVER.

hi, nice to meet you...awkward...

dates are so nervewracking.

AMW and HFM were visiting the City this weekend, which couldn't have worked out more perfectly, because i had a date on Saturday afternoon in the City so i could essentially kill 2 birds with 1 stone. yay!

it was a good omen when, on Friday night, there was absolutely no traffic on my way into the City via the Holland Tunnel. recently, my drives to Jersey City or towards the Holland Tunnel have been plagued with reedonkulously long traffic jams and stand-still traffic. but this time, it was smooth sailing the entire way and i arrived in Brooklyn within 45 minutes from when i started.

Friday night was a throwback to the days of yore aka the Golden Age in Brooklyn because we went to the local, Brazen Head, which was where we spent a lot of our BLS years. it was also a big wake-up call as we realized the Brazen was no longer "our" bar/local anymore. we didn't know any of the bartenders and barely knew any of the ppl in the bar. this of course excludes Kiddo and Coleslaw, who still knew about half the ppl there and 1 of the bartenders. particularly impressive for Coleslaw, considering she hasn't resided in Brooklyn since we graduated.

the next day was D-Day aka Date Day. i'm not sure the day started off on the right foot: immediately upon waking up, i was Ice-d. i did relish receiving my first Ice-ing ever, and from Coleslaw which makes it even better, but first thing in the morning? touche Coleslaw. the battle is on. surprisingly, lime-flavored Smirnoff doesn't taste completely awful.
despite my morning alcoholic beverage, i was productive pre-date. i got my haircut in Chinatown, went shopping with AMW and NC, and we caught brunch at Broken English, a new restaurant on Smith and Bergen. the place is a beautiful space and the brunch menu, while short and simple, didn't disappoint. AMW ordered the French Toast served with bananas and strawberries ($7), NC ordered the Egg Pasta with Black Peppercorn and Parmesan ($12), and i ordered the Eggs Benedict served with Prosciutto ($10). The Eggs Benedict was good, although it's served on country bread which is really hard to neatly cut through. by the 2nd piece i'd abandoned trying to eat it and just ate the egg and prosciutto. the prosciutto was also much thicker and saltier than the type i usually encounter (perhaps because there was so much more of it, it tasted saltier). i substituted french fries for homefries and those were perfect: shoe string crispy fries. i ate all of that. AMW's French Toast was received favorably since she couldn't stop picking at it even when she got full. i tried a bite and it was a little too mushy on the inside for me, but it wasn't overly sweet and i could see the appeal. i couldn't get myself to try NC's pasta because i was too full by then but she ate most of it so i assume it was good. the service was nothing great, but it wasn't awful either. they don't offer a brunch drinks menu although they have a fully-stocked bar; they do show you a wine list if you ask. i ordered a Bloody Mary and it was totally worth the $7. ok, maybe not totally worth it, but pretty darn close. it's served in a pint glass with a giant celery stick and is very spicy. if you like your Bloody Mary spicy, which i do, then this is the perfect place.

so after having imbibed my 2nd alcoholic drink of the day, i headed out towards my date. it was essentially a blind date and this was our first time meeting in person. nerve-wracking. however, the dating gods were kind in that he was cuter than i was expecting (and taller: 5'11) and much, much funnier. i guess it was a good sign when he picked Housing Works Bookstore Cafe as our neutral date location. the location proved:

1. he reads

2. is socially conscious

3. liberal

4. intelligent (implied from the fact that he reads)

i should keep this place in mind the next time i go out on a date. i was curious how the date would go since he picked a very get-out-of-jail-free safety time of 4:00 pm and a very neutral/non-commital meeting activity (coffee). i'm not sure if i should've been offended or grateful for his foresight. i chose the latter.

Housing Works Bookstore Cafe closes at 5:00 p.m. on the weekends (it's workers are volunteers so i can accept that). i took it as a good sign that he wanted to extend the date and we spent some more time walking around the neighborhood and chatting some more before he walked me to my subway and we said goodbye. with a handshake.

um, what?!

so............. i guess that date didn't go well. darn, and i think i could've really liked him.

Bringing it Back to School

compared to the olden days (my 1st year), student orgs at BLS haven't been as active in organizing bar events and outtings. it seems to be reflecting the student body, the make-up of which has changed drastically since my 1st year. more and more, BLS students are less interested in socializing as a student body and more and more about study groups, job fairs, and workshops/seminars. while this is all fine and dandy, when did BLS students become so boring? i remember, as a 1st year, there was always something to go to at Floyd's, Magnetic Field, Last Exit, Brazen Head, or Trout, just to tick off a few. yes, the neighborhood's changed (no more Trout or Magnetic Field), but more importantly, it's the characteristics of the students that's changed even more. step it up people. i'm not saying don't study or do work, just learn to balance! it's not that hard.

the only 2 events i really remember being held as bar events in Brooklyn was a Back to School held at Deity and a Bar Review night held at Ceol (which seems to have become the new Floyd's for BLS).

i've only been to Deity this 1 time, and i truly think once is enough. the venue seems completely displaced in it's attempt as a wannabe Manhattan bar. and the prices are similar too. there's a dance floor downstairs and a sort-of lounge upstairs. it wasn't bad, but i wouldn't actually call it good either. if i hadn't been there with people i liked, or if i hadn't run into someone who kept buying me drinks, i would not have stayed there as long as i did. i still eventually left and headed to Brazen Head, but i don't really remember what happened and i didn't stay long because i was in such a state.recently, BLSPI hosted its own event at Ceol, which took place after a wine and cheese event hosted by SBA. i have to admit, while the outdoor bar events have dwindled in number since my 1st year, the free food and drinks events have remained on par. and this 1 was no exception. i hadn't eaten much that day (never good when faced with unlimited wine) and only managed to nab 5 cubes of cheese before it was all depleted. so it's no surprise that i have no recollection as to why it took so long from when the SBA event ended and when i got to Ceol. apparently there was a 2 hr lapse. what was i doing? no idea.

i do remember running into Tongsen on the way to the bar and she bought me fries from Carroll Gardens Diner, which was much needed. then we headed over to Ceol together.

the climax of the night was when we all headed over to Brazen Head together. it was a freezing night and BGA started to run so i started to jog with him. in high heel boots. while very drunk.

not a very good idea.

i kept wanting to stop but BGA kept egging me on. the ends did not justify the means in this case. as soon as i got to Brazen i promptly threw up. suffice it to say, it was another night where i didn't stay long at Brazen before i just went home and passed out.

Heartbreaker

i try to keep truly personal things out of this blog, but something's really been pressing down on me as of late. but since AmericasMostWanted doesn't want to deal with the situation head on and i don't think (at this point) it's worth it to seek her out to tell her, i'm gonna air it out here. usually i wouldn't do this, but it's really been bugging me and while i could talk it out over and over again with other friends, that just gets tiring for me and those friends. i also don't wanna do that and then lose all the steam in how i feel and then just let the situation go because then i'll feel like more of a jackass than Jackass for continuing the friendship. then i'd truly be a frenemy.

last week BLS threw an inter-law school mixer for valentine's day. i wasn't too stoked to go because funds have been very tight as of late. however, a bunch of ppl i knew were going and then i found out the event was held at Hudson Terrace, which i've never been to and is only used as an event space so i might not have another opportunity to go. the place has an amazing rooftop, which must be so great in the summer or early fall, but in this freezing February was not that fun. but the place has potential (although very expensive) and the night started out great. Coleslaw and i got ready together, AMW brought wine down and we pre-gamed a little before, and then Coleslaw, Cubed and i headed over on the subway together. this part of the night was fun and fine. and then things took a turn for the worse...

this part of the story is a tried and true example of why you should always go with your gut and never let anyone talk you into doing anything you don't want to do. because you'll just live to regret it. AMW was pretty wasted at this point and Coleslaw and the crew were ready to go to the Brazen for cheap drinks and i was so down for that plan. but then AMW stumbled over to me and pleaded that i go out with her in Manhattan instead of going back to brooklyn. the only reason i ended up going wasn't because of the money, but because AMW was drunk and i knew she was going out with Jackass, who she always swears up and down she is over and done with and wants nothing to do with (in a romantic capacity), so i wanted to make sure she didn't do anything stupid while she was drunk.

biggest mistake of my life. ok, that's exaggerating. but definitely up there. i spent the cab ride to Cheap Shots (yes, i ended up there, and the whole place smelled like pee, which was so fun) being "asked out" by Jackass while he and AMW held hands in the cab. when we arrived at Cheap Shots i hopped out of the cab as fast as i could, only to be accosted by Jackass who repeatedly asked me out. i went to the bathroom and came out, and the 1st words out of AMW's mouth is, "just so you know, Jackass has a small penis."

ummmmmm.............did i ask you anything? no, i don't think so. i then i endured another 15 minutes where Jackass spent his time refuting the fact while AMW spent her time reassuring me it was true. um, that's not awkward at all.

here was what i thought would be the ticker for the night. while the guys were in the bathroom, i told AMW what Jackass had been doing all night and how i'd given him a piece of my mind because it was so disrespectful to AMW and to me and to all the other ppl involved. to which she responded, "Jackass told me to ask you if you liked him."

i promptly told her that she could tell him to suck it and repeated all my harsh words. to which she responded, "well, i'm not gonna say anything because i don't want to be in the middle of this." i just lost my shit. i can't believe AMW told me she didn't want to be in the middle of it, when she's the reason i was in the middle of it at all. at that point i told her i just wanted to go home because i was fed up.

we all went back to brooklyn (but not without making another scene, very AMW-style) and met the crew at Brazen Head. i was livid at this point. i didn't talk to Jackass or AMW for the rest of the time we were at Brazen. except for 2 incidents.

1. Jackass came up to me to claim he was "kidding" about the whole date thing. honestly, i really don't care. if he was kidding, it wasn't funny because of my friendship w/AMW and other girls he's done this to. if he wasn't kidding, the same reason still applies. as i've gotten older and with everything that's happened to me, friends and family are most important to me. and it's a big thing that nobody can say shit about either while in front of me. when i say "shit", i don't mean utterances that represent venting or being temporarily annoyed at them. that you can do all you want. but when you start insulting or attacking them, it's on like donkey kong. as long as i'm there, no one's gonna do that or hurt them in anyway. which is why Jackass's actions really enraged me, because he was doing something that was disrespectful not only to me, but hurtful to AMW and others. and that's not allowed and i won't be a part of it.

2. AMW, before the night ended, pulled me into the bathroom with her to discuss the situation. she told me she was "mad" for me. she went on to explain the 2 reasons why. 1st, if he was really hitting on me, she was mad for me because of the situation it put me in or something like that. she didn't really explain this reason because even in her tone, you could tell she didn't actually believe this reason.
so let's move on to reason number 2. AMW was "mad" for me because she knows Jackass was only asking me out as a joke. why? i'm not gonna explain how i know this, or what happened, but about 3 weeks ago, Jackass revealed he's a bit of a bigot. apparently asians are all "chinks" etc. and he has no problem using this kind of language. so AMW knew for sure that Jackass was asking me out only as a joke because, and i quote, "he'd never actually date an asian girl. he said so himself." and so, that's why AMW was "mad" for me. because i am a "pretty girl" and it's just "so rude" of him to hit on me as a joke, etc. what got me tho, was she wasn't really mad at him. she spent the whole night talking to him and cuddling by themselves. to a guy who was a bigot to me. and the capper on this night? AMW and Jackass had been making out in Brazen while they'd been having this conversation. and she still went home with him that night.

and that really breaks my heart.

Waterfalls

THE QUESTION: what is art?
SUBQUESTION: how do you feel about public art?
CONTEXT: in this current economy and the cutting of the budget particularly in the arts, is art necessary? and when it comes to public art, where there are many instances of ppl having negative reactions to art in public spaces, should there be a formula for appropriate public art?

this was the question posed in my Law, Politics, and Personality seminar with Leonard Garment. someone's currently making an argument that there's a difference between "art that provokes with a message" vs. "art that just provokes." i don't agree with this statement. just like "one man's trash is another man's treasure" there can never be a blanket statement that there's only art that "provokes" without a message. i mean, maybe that's just me, but with content as subjective and varied as art (in all forms and media), i think it's hard to make such overly broad statements.

speaking of complex pieces of art (yes, this is a bit of a segue)Coleslaw has grown 1 year older. HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLESLAW! and as with all birthdays, there's gotta be a party. i tend to look at birthdays as actually non-momentous occassions because it's really just another day and pales in comparison to what you've undergone for the year. however, a lot of birthdays have been back-to-back lately and it's made me think about mine coming up. this year's definitely felt like 1 rife with more internal battlings and circumstances and when i look at Coleslaw's last year, i think she's also come across a lot and had a lot of experiences. everything that happens to us changes us in some way, and the more momentous and eventful the year, the more you change, grow, and develop. yes, i know, this sounds like a Hallmark card, but there's definitely a degree of truth to it.

not that any of that was reflected in the actual celebration. Six had made an Earl Grey infused vodka, which, if done properly, tastes delicious with lemonade or sprite and also her infamous sangria. i'd had it before, but never liked to eat the fruit (i swear, i'm gonna die of scurvy), but i ate some this time and the amount of rum steeped into that fruit is reedonkulous! every time i ate a piece my face would scrunch up and pucker but in a good way(?). everyone came over to pre-game a bit with Six's home-made beverages, and a rousing game of Kings ensued.

word of warning: never play Kings with Six if you're playing with waterfalls. that girl does not know when to stop! and as luck would have it, she was commonly the start of the waterfall or else close to the front.

next word of warning: never play Kings with sangria heavily infused with rum. it's quite dangerous, particularly when in conjunction with the above warning. Six got wasted before we even left the apartment. how wasted was she? she managed to break the heel to the boots i lent her before she even left the apartment. that's quite impressive.

Coleslaw's party was at Brazen (of course) and she headed over first with Cubed while DRC and i finished our drinks. we couldn't have been more then 45 mins later than Coleslaw to the party, and when we showed up, Coleslaw seemed fine. by the time i got my beer and turned back to her, which was probably 15 mins, Coleslaw was sloshed. i mean completely. it was really surprising.
********i have to make a break in this entry to comment that someone in my class just used the word chutzpah*****************

the whole night i kept getting calls and texts from Oppa because he was attending the party of a guy he'd wanted to introduce me to. around 2 AM i raced over to the Park to go meet him, only to find out 2 crucial facts he had left out of the scenario: 1. Oppa was wasted; 2. the party was the birthday party of the guy he was introducing me to. so suffice it to say, the guy was pretty drunk. not the best 1st impression and not the best way to meet a guy. i love Oppa to death, but when he's drunk, he really will stop at nothing to get you to come out but then when you do, it's usually never really worth it.

i cut my losses and said "bye" after hanging with them for about an hour and half. what did perk up my night was what happened on my way out. outside of the Park i ran into Joebo. i've met him before, and we've hung out (sort of) but he's not usually that social or talkative (to me anyways). but perhaps he was a little drunk, but we ended having a pretty deep and philosophical conversation about the state of the economy and politics. altho Joebo's a Republican and conservative, luckily i don't get into a frenzy the way Egg does so the convo went pleasantly.

i did learn something interesting tho, that raised Joebo's status in my eyes. he had just recently dumped the girl he was seeing because she didn't know who Palin was. gotta give him props for that.

the day the world changed

the Ricky Gervais HBO comedy special has been airing more frequently recently and i keep stumbling on it right when he's talking about how stupid blogs are. i can't help but wonder if that's God's way of trying to give me a hint about my own blog. but o well, boo to you God.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you! i can't believe it's another NYE. time is REALLY flying. am home for the holidays, and something's going on with the computer, so forgive me if this post doesn't have the usual bells and whistles as the others.

just the thought of a new year makes me think about the presidential election. talk about a night of "news" (pronounced like "this is brand NEW stuff" as opposed to "let's watch the evening NEWS". get it?). BLS organized an election viewing event in Geraldo's and, honestly, i didn't think THAT many ppl would attend. o how wrong i was. never underestimate the power of free pizza and wings and beer.

while not everyone there was there for intelligent reasons, but it was really kind fo heartwarming to see ppl there, and those that actually were intelligent and excited about the election were the cutest. something about this year's election really got everyone truly excited and back into the way you're supposed to feel when voting. for instance, on the day of the vote, Coleslaw forwarded the CUTEST email from her dad:

Good Morning Beautiful,

I just got to work after voting this morning. I arrived at my polling place at 5:05 am and I was 32nd in line. By the time the polling place opened at 6 am, the line was a good 175 to 200 yards long. There were three cops directing traffic…it was so surreal.You'd think they were giving out free money! Even after being 32nd,it took another 30 minutes to vote. I'm glad I decided to get up earlier. I am predicting a landslide for Obama. I just feel it…that many people…in the pouring rain…voting. I have never seen that many people at that voting place even if you combined all the times I have voted there over the past ten years! But you know, the majority of people are voting because of race. Many are voting to put a black man in office and others are voting to keep him out. But at least they're voting. God a feel great!! I shit you not, I haven't felt like this since my Dad held me up over that chain link fence in Brunswick, Maine to shake hands with John F. Kennedy. Goose bumps.We are witnessing a great piece of history in this country. People talk about the "good ole days"…these are those good ole days. I wish you had kids your age to witness this. Just a shear numbers of voters is going to be history! I don't think I can get anything done today.For once I am going to be glued my TV waiting for that acceptance speech. Too bad about Obama's Grandmother. Have a great day at work today and remember this day forever.

Love always,
Poppa

wasn't that the cutest? and that's what this election really did feel like. just about everyone was tuned in, everyone had an opinion, everyone sort of cared in one way or another. and then later, after the results were pretty much secured, the election party moved to (where else) Brazen Head. and ppl just honked in the streets and "woo-hooed" all over the place. and when the night was winding down, Coleslaw received an email. and she was so touched and overwhelmed by the moment, she kind of teared a little. the email was this:

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there,but I wanted to write to you first.
We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family,friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack

pictures i have no memory taking...

......i can tell you the where (Brazen Head, obviously) but i have no recollection why or what happened that night so that i couldn't remember. i have a sneaking suspicious it was the night of Mentor-Mentee dinner because Adidas and Egg are both there.

the Weardown

someone recently mentioned how the weardown really does work for guys some times. and you know what? i have to agree. i always knew the weardown worked, but it seems to have taken on a whole new spin recently and i gotta admit, i don't really like it.

here's the lowdown on what the weardown is. no, it's not a nickname for a real person. it's more of a labelling of the M.O. of certain guys. some guys bowl you over with how good-looking they are. others win you over with their wit, charm, and intellect. some just sweep you off your feet. or else it's just attraction at first sight. then there are the weardown guys. these guys don't do any of the above. instead they just wear you down. they hover around you, telling you how cute you are and making flirty suggestions. and you would never ever ever EVER like this guy and you constantly tell him such, but he still hovers. why does he continue to hover around you? because he wants to WEAR YOU DOWN. don't get me wrong: the weardown is applied by both guys and girls. and it's a common element of fairytale dorky guy/girl gets the popular guy/girl. it can be very endearing when you hear the story of the couple that got together because 1 of the 2 had been harboring a massive crush on the other and was just persistent until the other 1 finally got a clue and realized how great that person was. aww isn't that sweet. however, in recent times, i've noticed the weardown being employed in a much less chivalrous way. more and more, and i really only see this with guys, i see the weardown being used by guys on girls just so they can hook-up or get laid. they don't really like the girl. they don't want to date the girl. they just want to get some. that's despicable and kind of sad and pathetic too. the weardown should only be used if the other person is worth that much effort. you don't just use the weardown on everyone around you; it's not bait you put in a fishing net and see how many fish you can get. aish.

on to other topics.

i haven't been as involved with APALSA this year, mainly because i'm not on the e-board anymore (and honestly, thank god. now i can just go and enjoy the events). there are only 3 events of APALSA that i always must attend: the Minority Mixer, the Mentor-Mentee dinner, and the Alumni dinner. 2 of the 3 has already happened. the Minority Mixer was held at Bacchus this year, which was a poor choice of venue. altho we did have more outdoor room than last year's event at APT 138, the food choice was severely limited and if you're going to provide free drinks, you should at least fortify the stomachs of the people drinking or else you're gonna have a mess on your hands. the only thing they served were mini sliders and chicken puffs and these were served on platters. everyone i was with was starving since usually this event has a ginormous spread so we all hadn't eaten any dinner in preparation of the free food. it got to the point that waiter would walk immediately to our table first, knowing we were dying for some food. suffice it to say that with such little amount of food in my stomach i was pretty much out of commission shortly after the event.

Mentor-Mentee dinner was also a good free food and drink event, altho my mentee couldn't make it to the dinner. [insert frowny-face here]. regardless, i brought Egg up with me and we, along with Adidas, managed to play many rounds of Gawi Bawi Bo aka Muk Chi Ba [i've recently been informed that the way we play is actually Muk Chi Ba and i've incorrectly called it Gawi Bawi Bo all these years. o well, whatevs, i'm not actually korean so it's not really my fault]. super fun. and then i believe we all ended up at Brazen Head. but don't quote me on that. because for the life of me, right now i can't remember what happened later that night. eh, o well. it must not have been important then.

brownchickenbrowncow

hilarious (and complimentary) convo w/BigPapa:

BigPapa: i didn't realize iwas supposed to do stuff
i thought i just sat around and looked sexy
damnit
Me: hahaha
now you have to do stuff AND look sexy at the same time
phew
that's tough
BigPapa: seriously
sigh
i'm going to put up for a vote at the general meeting
a new position called "sexyness rep"
we can be cochairs
:-D

now how flattering is that? i saw BigPapa later today and he also inadvertently called me a hottie as well. gotta love BigPapa.

school's offiically started and it's been a whirlwind, seeing ppl i haven't seen in a while and all that. albeit to say, lots of drinks have been had. there was an unofficial party at Floyd's which ended up turning into a mini pub-crawl for the 3Ls. it was great to see all those ppl out at Floyd's (even 4A showed up! that's a momentous occasion since they usually never leave the apartment), but Floyd's, while decently sized, isn't equipped for that voluminous crowd. it was stifingly hot in there and super crowded and getting a drink was a nightmare. everybody decided to move over to Last Exit instead, which was much more mellow and full of only friendly faces (as opposed to 1Ls that i don't recognize or know...yet).

many, many, many drinks were imbibed and ridiculous conversations were had before we went over to Brazen Head as the final stop. i was a trooper all the way (but i still left before DRC, Coleslaw and Cubed: they're beasts!). i was in such bad shape the next day. i mean, it was bad...

i had the complete intention of staying in Friday night to properly recover but there was the BLS pub crawl going on. i thought i was being smart by going to just the tail-end of the event and showed up at Trout around midnight. however, 1 beer turned into 2 and so on and so forth. we were at Trout until they kicked us out and then proceeded to Brazen until they kicked us out of there before heading back to Feil only to try and post-party at DRC's. luckily for me that fizzled out quick and i managed to get into bed just as the sun was rising...

only to have to wake up at 10:30 am! i had made a brunch date for Lockbox to meet KimChi but we had to be there by 11:30 b/c KimChi was going into work at 1:00 pm. i dragged myself out of bed, got ready in time and went down to pick up Lockbox and head over to Chinatown except Lockbox wasn't ready. that bastard. i had to wait for him to pick out clothes and get ready before we could head out. luckily KimChi was running late too.

on the way over to dim sum brunch, Lockbox and i had an interesting conversation about guys. we universally agreed that men are all dogs, but the degree of doggy-ness varies on a sliding scale. using Lockbox as a barometer (he's a self-proclaimed 8) we came to the decision that generally good guys are 6s. basically, all men have to start at at least 5. b/c essentially they're all dogs. for instance, Egg's probably a 5 (a generally nice and sweet guy w/more stringent fooling around standards); Mr.Frenzy's probably a 6 (still a nice and sweet guy but could possibly be tricked into doing something if VERY intoxicated) and so on and so forth. what do you think?

we ended up eating dim sum at Oriental Garden which is right next to Jing Fong. honestly, i think Jing Fong's better. there's more variety and more space. the set-up or introduction (whatever you want to call it) didn't go as well. i give up on Lockbox. he committed 3 cardinal sins at that brunch:

1st: he had an opportunity to sit next to KimChi but instead sat next to me. Snoopy even tried to race him to sit next to me so that Lockbox could sit next to KimChi and they could actually converse.
2nd: Lockbox wasn't as witty and open as he usually is. it was to the point that KimChi forgot his name. when i mentioned Crush, Lockbox's roommate was having a birthday party that night, KimChi turned to me and went, "who's Lockbox?"; it was super funny.
3rd: somehow the conversation about all men being dogs came up but i purposely didn't mention Lockbox being an 8 b/c i didn't want to blow up his spot. it would never have come up b/c KimChi didn't ask what Lockbox was but then Lockbox, like the genius he is, volunteers the info that he's an 8 all on his own. aish...that night, i headed over to 4A which was pregaming for Crush's and LF's and a whole bunch of other ppl's bday party in the city. DRC had just come back from a day at Jones Beach and was the color of a lobster. then something interesting happened: Crush offered DRC some aloe to put on her skin b/c apparently he had some. he leads her to the bathroom and gives her the lotion. then he just stands there. it was super creeper mcgee. so DRC awkwardly applies the lotion while Crush stands at the door and watches. what makes it even more hysterical is that DRC goes to return the lotion to Crush and he points to her chest area and goes, "you're the most red here, you should put some on here". umm, thanks for you concern buddy, but could you not stare at my chest while i'm lotioning? now, we all know Crush is actually one of the most polite and nice guys so i'm gonna chalk this creeper incident up to alcohol and birthday shenanigans.

Who Drinks on a Sunday? Apparently I Do

i am having an UG downward spiral: UglyGirl. i'm not saying this to fish for any compliments and i know i'm not the ugliest girl to walk the face of the earth (well at least i hope not). i guess it's just one of those phases everybody goes through. i mean, aside from Lockbox and Moon, i think everyone goes through it. it just seems that in my little posse, i really might be the UG. on 1 side i've got friends who are fending off overtures left and right and on the other side i've got friends who are accepting overtures left and right. and what am i doing while these friends are being bombarded w/come-on lines and flirting? i'm sitting on the side. drinking my drink. twiddling my thumbs. if you do see me chatting w/a boy, don't get it twisted: i'm either being told about some mad crush he has on some other girl, counseling him cause he's in a downward spiral (also about some other girl), or offering dating advice. pssh. as if i could be anyone's fountain of knowledge when it comes to that topic.

o well. hopefully the phase will pass soon enough. and in the meantime i'll learn to develop some other attractive attribute like personality, wit or intelligence. hmm, that seems like hard work. maybe i'll just try to become a better dancer instead.

self-pity fest aside, let's begin this catch-up entry. as is always the case, and i should know better, i had an insanely drunk Sunday. it started out as a relaxed drink at Trout w/DRC, you know, just a beer here, a bloody mary there. after all, it is Sunday i thought to myself. nah-ah. shortly our little 4-some turned into an 8-some and it was decided we would go to Zombie Hut for more drinks. this place is brutally lethal. and it doesn't help when Coleslaw starts off drinking Zombie Bowls. that stuff just goes down like water but contains enough alcohol to knock out a sailor (ok, that may be an exaggeration but it can't be that far off). see, the way Zombie Hut gets you is b/c all the drinks are super fruity and delicious while masking lethal doses of alcohol. i proceeded to share a Zombie Bowl w/Coleslaw (a 4-person Zombie Bowl we split btwn the 2 of us) and 2 Frozen Zombies (like frozen pina coladas but pink and containing a straight shot of rum hidden at the bottom). of course, no Brooklyn outting's complete w/o a stop at Brazen Head but at that point i couldn't even stand up. but i was still a champ b/c i'm pretty sure i stayed for at least a PBR. although i'm not so sure...

safe to say, i didn't make it to work that Monday.

Rong Time No Shee (read this while squinting your eyes)

before i had Oppa i had O, my chinese oppa. however, O moved to China a few years ago and obviously that makes it hard for him to continue being the protective-older-brother-type he once was (tho it always fall back into place when he comes home for visits). o wait, i'm getting ahead of myself.

on thursday night, Brazen Head was doing a free happy hour-yes, you read correctly, free-where they were serving drinks made with some new vodkas they'd purchased e.g. Absolute Peach, Absolute Pear, etc. perfect for a sometimes girly drinker like me and you know i can't pass up anything that's free. i had only intended to stay there until the happy hour was over which ended up being 8:45 pm (although it was supposed to be until 9 pm) but then Crush showed up and altho i've very much given him up (it would be too incestuous now that he dated/is dating ManEater) he still is (what i consider) good-looking so i stayed a little longer. in the meantime, i had texted Chop and told him to come to the bar to which he replied he would and so i ended up staying out much longer than i'd planned. i also ended up drinking much more than i planned.

and i woke up the next day slightly hungover.

which was quite unfortunate b/c the following friday was jam-packed. and that brings the story full circle.

O was in town until Sunday but would only be in the city that Friday so of course i had to see him. i met up w/him at Bull McCabe's, a bar on St. Marks on the block that i frequent the most but yet never noticed this place, probably b/c it reeks of a dive bar feel-although it contains a decent backyard and a kick-ass high-tech dart board. O was there w/his entire NYU entourage from his college days. it was so good to see them all out together b/c i haven't seen that happen since his NYU days. *sniffle, sniffle* i think i'm getting all teared up. seeing them together reminded me of my high school days hanging out w/them (they were the cool college boys) and all the scandalous hijinxes that occurred. PerfectCouple was also there (yes, it's 1 nickname for 2 ppl). they're so nicknamed b/c they've been dating since 7th grade. that's 16 yrs. and they're finally getting married: this coming saturday actually. congrats!! i love their story. it appeals to the inner romantic in me. i only wish my future marriage story could be as idyllic except that would mean i wouldn't get married until i was 42. no thanks.

unfortunately i couldn't stay long b/c Oppa was having a birthday party at Volstead the same night. since it was Oppa's birthday, i made the obligatory appearance but didn't stay long b/c the when i showed it the party was way too scattered. apparently they were just congregating there until all the invited ppl showed up so they could move to a better venue so there was a whole "limbo" feeling to the party. i still did my part for my oppa tho and bought him a birthday shot (tequila to be exact. i'm such a hypocrite-i would never drink that). then DRC and i made our way to 230 Fifth to meet her friends. talk about nostalgia. i haven't been to 230 Fifth since the time of Gohm, or just about that time. the place hasn't changed much altho it's definitely lost it's super-new-shiny feel to it. rooftop bars just aren't the novelty they once were and they're all over the place now so why bother going to such an overpriced place as 230 Fifth? it seems NYC shares my view b/c when we got there we only had to wait about 5 mins in line before we got in, the rooftop wasn't as crowded as usual and the bathroom lines were manageable. once we got there i got into an intense convo w/Shy on the phone and when i got back to the table DRC was rocked. she'd gotten it into her head that she had to drink as much free vodka as she possible could and apparently she was very successful at doing so.

we left the bar shortly thereafter and what happened afterwards has been relegated to the vault never to be mentioned again. all i'm gonna comment is that my apartment seems to be spanish fly for some ppl, altho, sadly, not me.


since i'm not allowed to talk about the events of that night, i'm gonna dork out and talk about the japanese tv series correlated to this MV. the song is the theme song for Absolute Boyfriend aka Zettai Kareshi. the premise is interesting but definitely comes off as completely idiotic (i know b/c i tried to explain it to Egg and his eyes started rolling before i'd even gotten through the 1st sentence). ok fine yes: it's about a robot boyfriend. yes, you may proceed to roll your eyes too. a girl gets the opportunity to be the test agent for a robot that's been created to be the perfect boyfriend. the girl isn't able to actually enjoy it b/c she gets creeped out by the fact that it's a robot. but the robot boyfriend, in order to be the man she loves, slowly develops beyond his programming and begins to really love her and then there's a whole love triangle w/her boss and...ok, ok, nevermind, it's too hard to explain w/o me looking even dorkier than i already am. but if you ever get the chance to watch it i promise it won't disappoint. when i saw Egg the day after i finished watching the series my eyes were all puffed up from consistently blubbering and crying during the last 2 episodes. it was so good and sad.

i've been listening to the theme song on a repititious basis b/c it's perfect for the series. the title of the song is Okaeri which is roughly translated to "Welcome Home" which is what the boyfriend says every time the girl comes home (and she misses it when he isn't there). sigh... if only life were like asian tv series sometimes.

the room was spinning

the night before July 4th, the girls and i decided to get together and do a mini-drink fest since nobody had to work the next day. however, i got an unexpected call from my parents who advised me Cousin was in town and had missed her planned flight and had taken a red-eye instead but they hadn't heard from her since. being concerned, she is family after all, i made a few calls and found out she was doing fine and hanging w/Snoopy. it's pretty much obligatory to have to see family when they're visiting, especially when they're visiting from out-of-town. so i made plans to meet up w/her after work and hopefully i would help her get the bus back to Jersey to meet w/my parents for dinner.

except things never go as planned when it comes to Cousin. she's notorious when it comes to time-management.

so i was supposed to meet Cousin in Chinatown around 5:30/6:00 pm. except i know her well enough to anticipate she's going to be late so i told her to call me when she was leaving Grand Central and even gave her directions on how to get to Canal Street from GCT. except of course she didn't do either. she failed to follow my directions and didn't call me until she was already at Canal Street in Chinatown-although i shouldn't complain really b/c she ended up having to wait for me instead of vice versa. we then met up w/Snoopy and by then it was pretty obvious that Cousin wasn't gonna make it back to jersey to have dinner w/my parents so instead Snoopy, Cousin and i ended up getting dinner together instead. and this in turn made me run late to go meet up w/the girls back at Feil. see the chain reaction when it comes to Cousin?

So you think you can dance-bleeding love


luckily, although i missed So You Think You Can Dance (which, aside from the video posted here, i'm not that crazy about-i just can't get into all that ballroom dancing stuff), i didn't miss my favorite show to watch: America's Next Best Dance Crew. phew. we sat around and watched the show, caught up on gossip during the commercials, and then headed over to Trout for drinks. i'm always shocked at how packed Trout is on weekend nights. and not full of law school ppl either but just regular joe-shmoes out for the night. weird. in reality, i didn't really want to go to Trout that night, and the crowd just made it more so but DRC had made a royal edict that if we went to Brazen she would leave or go home. i mean what can you do when 1 of your good friends drops a statement like that? so there was really no choice.

fortunately, we only stayed for 1 drink b/c Shy told me he was at Brazen and we all headed over there after our 1 drink. love this place. maybe b/c it's so cheap. or maybe it's the bartenders who have started to get to know me by face. or maybe b/c it's 2 minutes walk from my apt. anyways, DRC left shortly after we got there and then it was just me, Coleslaw, Shy and his friend. did i mention we were getting free PBRs? my favorite bartender was working that night and, as it turns out, the PBR rep had been in earlier that day so all the PBRs we ordered for free. and we were very grateful. and then Shy's friend bought 2 rounds of shots (1 jack, 1 SoCo & lime). before we knew it, Shy was very drunk. so you ask me, how can i be sure? b/c don't you hate it when ppl think you're drunk when you're definitely not? well, i can be pretty positive b/c later when we were hanging at his place he did 2 very drunk things:
1.he plopped down on the couch and then immediately shot up and announced, "i need water" and proceeded to stand at the sink and chug water.
2.he went to go lay down and then announced, "no good. the room is spinning" and then spent some time sitting up but lamenting the fact that he was tired and just wanted to lay down.

you're so cute!

who knew dates still exist, and even more so, that i could possibly go on one? i mean, who would be that bold to risk going on a date w/moi? everyone who knows me knows that 1-on-1 things aren't usually my forte. i think i'm pretty proficient at hanging out w/friends but as soon as it's labelled a "date", i'm much less able to function normally. i get all caught up on thoughts like "what are we gonna talk about", "how much am i gonna eat", "do i have food in my teeth", etc.

this one seemed to go better than usual, maybe b/c it came completely out of the blue. Chop and i have been hanging out on the weekends and on friday i called him to see what his plans were and he surprised me by asking if i wanted to go watch Get Smart w/him. the movie's pretty cute and funny; very family-fare stuff. after the movie we ended up catching dinner around St. Marks area at Village Yokocho. i'd never been there before that night but i've always heard really good things. however, it's a little pricier than my usual spots of Kenka and Yakitori Taisho but the menu's more extensive (it's on par w/the options at Kenka) particularly w/asian-style soups and rices. i think i'll give this place another shot in the winter-i'm sure i'll like it more than this time. it was kind of adorable to see Chop try to figure out the crazy asian menu but he was open-minded and not scared at all in trying new foods.

afterwards, we headed back to Brooklyn Heights and headed over to Brazen Head for drinks where Chop ended up getting very tipsy. i've never seen Chop drunk so this was a new sight and super endearing. Chop's usually very composed and shy but when he gets tipsy he's more open and affectionate. apparently, i am a very "awesome" girl (but this may only be when you've had a few drinks).

on saturday i attended a dinner for my aunt and uncle who just had an adorable baby girl, my new baby cousin. it's so weird to see them as parents b/c they're not that much older than me. this is the same uncle who taught me what "dookie" meant and practiced WWF wrestling moves on me. so weird that he's now a dad. the dinner was in Rego Park and the train ride took forever but seeing the new baby was worth it. there were a ton of little kids at the dinner (i guess that age group is really starting to pop them out) and it totally made me feel my maternal instinct kick in and want a baby. i can't wait to have 1 of my own (although i'm not looking forward to the birthing part).

after dinner i got back to Brooklyn and had every intention of just spending the night in, but then i got a call from Pal who was having a housewarming for their new apartment on St. Marks. i haven't seen Pal since her engagement about a year ago. however, i was still going to skip out on the party except she texted me that DougLife was also there. i haven't seen DougLife since i moved out of Hoboken in 2006. after i heard that, i had to go and see them.

i've never seen an apartment on St. Marks. her place is on my favorite block between 3rd and 2nd Ave. it's kind of small and it's definitely ironic that only after she's become engaged is when she and her fiance get a roommate to live w/. however, while she's definitely changed and grown since the last time i saw her, there are some things that never change. she made me the most delicious drink called Orange Crush (1/2 a fresh squeezed orange, triple sec and rum, but otherwise i'm not sure what else is in there) and got very wasted herself. that's more like the Pal i know. an interesting part of the night was when we were all on the rooftop. i was talking to DougLife when he proceeded to inform me that there was a man in the building next door who was walking around his apartment in speedo underwear. of course i immediately turned around to see. the guy was pretty physically fit but the black teeny-eeny-bikini underwear he had on, along w/his curly longish hair made him look like eurotrash gigolos. it also didn't help that he had a zebra-print rug on the floor of his apartment. since DougLife and i were so interested in the scene, soon the whole party had moved over to look into the guy's window. and the 1 of the very gay members of the party started to cat-call and soon we all were. o well, that's what you get for walking around you apartment in just your underwear and the window shades up.

once the party dwindled DougLife and i went to Bull McCabe's to have a few more drinks and do some more catching up. he's really moving forward in his life, but still the same old hilarious teddy bear he always was. seeing him and Pal really brought me back to those Pressler & Pressler and Hoboken days. we even called Bligh that night out of nostalgia.

sometimes, i really miss those days.