we're such mad, genius evil scientists

moving into my new apartment in Brooklyn Heights has not been an easy task. i forgot how much stuff i'd accumulated (essentially all crap) and moving my new IKEA furniture was no easy feat either (especially with no elevator and a 2 floor walk-up).  thankfully i had Kiddo and D-Life to help me out with all my junk.

on Friday night, Kiddo met with me at my new apartment to help me move in half of my stuff (D-Life would meet me next day to move in the rest). i had been running late so Kiddo had been waiting for me at the local bar around the corner from my apartment. i was much later than i expected so i couldn't blame Kiddo when he arrived and advised me he had drank a (small) pitcher of whiskey while waiting for me.

it turned out the alcohol was a good thing because Kiddo used brute, drunken strength to single-handedly carry up all my IKEA furniture (and that shit ain't light). hooray for alcohol strength!

as a thank you, i took Kiddo out for dinner. since i haven't been in the BK Heights in a while, i deferred to Kiddo when he suggested two8two. i'm as big a fan of a burger as the next guy, but i haven't really jumped onto this whole "gourmet burger" trend. or so i thought at the time...

two8two wasn't very packed on that particular friday night. just enough people to make it seem like it was doing some decent business, but not overcrowded or loud.* Kiddo and i ordered the Breakfast Burger ($9) which consists of a burger topped with a fried egg, cheddar cheese, bacon, and two8two sauce. so good. the burger was cooked exactly how i asked for (medium rare) and they were really quick from the time i ordered to when i received my food. my younger cousin, Woof2, ordered the Billy Burger ($7.50), a burger with grilled onions, cheddar cheese, and two8two sauce. she wolfed the burger down and still talks about it to this day. she recently confessed that she had wanted to order another burger that night, but since it was her first time meeting Kiddo, she hadn't wanted to scare him.

In addition to the burgers, we ordered a side of French Fries ($3) and Greek Fries ($4) (fries topped with feta cheese and oregano). honestly, i preferred the regular fries over the Greek Fries. The feta was never really melty since it's applied after the fries are cooked. it still tastes fine, but since it wasn't what i was expecting, i just wasn't as big a fan.

the menu at two8two isn't that expansive, but they do make some decent cocktails. i ordered their Chipotle Habanero Bloody Mary ($9). make sure to ask for bacon salt on the rim. although not a big order, it's pretty tasty. i like bloody marys that aren't too strong in vodka, but have some spicy kick.

a few days later, i found myself at another new burger joint in BK Heights: Moo Burger. a little pricier than two8two but with a lot more choices and interesting menu items. the menu itself is actually a little tricky and confusing. for instance, The Smokehouse ($14) is described as pulled pork, onion ring, chipotle barbecue sauce and coleslaw. which left us scratching our heads: did this "burger" actually come with a burger patty or was it just straight pork? a quick inquiry with our waitress revealed that it was pulled pork, etc. on top of a hamburger patty. whoa, mind-blown. but then, when we inquired about The Buffalo Chicken ($13) (spicy buffalo sauce, carrots, celery, bleu cheese), we were advised that it didn't actually come with chicken, just the accoutrements of a buffalo chicken sandwich substituting a burger patty for the chicken. congrats Moo Burger, you've got me a little puzzled.

after thoroughly annoying our waitress with my incessant and ridiculous question, i still hadn't decided on what i wanted to eat. i had only just moved into my new apartment and had been pretty much eating out everyday. i was feeling a little unhealthy and a lot gross. initially when Egg and She, now my neighbors (!) had asked to go out to dinner, i'd indicated i wanted to go a veggie-healthy way. so they suggested Moo Burger since they knew that it had some salad options as well. of course, that all flew out the window once i saw their intriguing menu. in a moment of evil-genius-frankenstein-madness, i decided to ask whether i could order The Moo-Less ($12) with a burger patty. 

the whole inquiry process was a little amusing. when our waitress came back (for the 3rd or 4th time) to take our order, i had to ask a seemingly straightforward question: did the Moo-Less come with a burger? i'll give her props for being good-natured throughout this whole process, but she did sort of roll her eyes and added a slight sarcastic tone when she stated, "No. Moo-Less? Get it?" but you can't blame me for being a little confused (see above paragraphs). so i asked whether i could order the Moo-Less but with a burger and how much that would cost. she came back and advised it would be $14 to order the Moo-Less with a burger patty**. done and done.  Kiddo followed suit and ordered the same thing.

when the burger arrived, it was a monster. a burger patty topped with portabello, zucchini, squash, eggplant, roasted red pepper, pesto and tapenade. oh my! the burger was perfectly cooked and all the veggies and sauce made it savory and sweet at the same time. it's definitely a little messy to eat, so be prepared.  the pesto and tapenade, along with burger juices, makes the bottom of the sandwich get a little soggy over time. so if you're eating with your hands, be prepared for some sticky fingers. Kiddo also ordered a side of fries (which were delish-skinny shoe string fries that were nice and crispy) while i ordered a side of coleslaw (again trying to be healthy-but unless you like watery coleslaw, i'd skip this option).

*i recently went back and the place was packed. and due to the wooden decor of the restaurant, it is not amenable to noise control. this particular night there were 2 large parties of 6+ and it was impossible to hear anyone at my table talk.


**on a subsequent trip, Kiddo and i ordered the exact same meal and it was $17 ($5 for a patty).

Subway Surfing

when i used to drive everyday for my commute to work in NJ, i'd always be super annoyed at the traffic, horrible drivers, and the brights that all cars seem to have installed by default.  now that i'm officially a New York-er, i find myself getting annoyed at bad subway riders and sidewalk walkers. you know what they say: the grass is always greener...


i am constantly amazed at the amount of people who don't have basic commuting etiquette tho. i mean, it's pretty common sense, no? everyone knows that in (at least in the United States) you drive on the right side of the road. and that the left lane is for passing. yet, somehow, these same principles never apply to walking. why not?

recently, i had the pleasure of getting onto a packed subway during morning rush hour. no i'm not gonna complain about how crowded it was. i'm not that much a whiny priss. i understand, it's rush hour. and, in a fortuitous miracle, the car i was in wasn't that packed. it wasn't spacious to the point i could lounge on the multitude of empty seats, but, for once, we weren't packed in like sardines in a can.

which made the man standing in front me as a fortressed barricade to my access to the subway pole very frustrating. if i was a giant, this wouldn't be a problem because i could easily grab one of the overhead bars. unfortunately for me, i am a typical 5' 2" asian girl which means i always have to grab one of the vertical side bars or else risk having my arm pulled out of its socket in my attempt to use the overhead bar. and there was, literally, no way to maneuver around this man. his square-ish, rectangular body shape made him the perfect impediment. seriously, if this man isn't a door bouncer somewhere, he missed his calling in life. 


so i spent the rest of my time subway surfing, which i did surprisingly well at, with only 1 minor wipe-out.

My Pizza Was Wearing Flannel

Stinky was in town for a visit, so the old Smithie crew got itself together to hang out. catering to a vegetarian can be a little tricky at times, since i don't know that many and don't particularly adhere to the eating philosophy.  since i'd have to shell out money for dinner regardless of what we ate, i would prefer somewhere that i wasn't limited to wheatgrass, tofu, and bean sprouts (although i love all those foods except for the wheatgrass). 

luckily, L'asso came to the rescue. around the corner from Lombardi's (1 of NYC's pizza institutions), L'asso is as un-Lombardi's as you can get. if that term could be used as an adjective. which i've now created.

it's very thin crust pizza, with multiple variations of the Margherita (i've never seen so many different ways you can re-state the "tomatoes, basil, sauce, cheese" combination).  my eyes sort of glazed over that aspect of the menu, especially since i couldn't order any of the variations on the theme e.g. crisp prosciutto.  as to sauce-less pies, that's where L'asso's options shine. pizzas with apples, pistachios, walnuts, gorgonzola, various mushrooms, ricotta, etc.

the 4 of us decided to split a salad. fittingly, we ordered the Insalata L'asso ($13) which was a lightly dressed mixed greens salad hearts of palm, goat cheese, pistachio, asparagus, and fennel.  while the fennel was not particularly present, the rest of the salad was perfect.  the soft, fluffy goat cheese gave it the right amount of sharp flavor to balance the light oil and vinegar dressing. and i never say no to hearts of palm, which i liken to a softer version of bamboo shoots or slightly firmer than artichoke hearts.

we ordered a large pizza, which L'asso only serves in long skinny versions akin to a flattened loaf of italian bread (made out of thin crust pizza of course).  the only circular pie you'll get at L'asso is the personal pie. the thin pizza loaf is actually perfect for sharing, allowing you to eat more than 1 "slice" without feeling like a heffer.  the restaurant also allows you to order half and half on a pizza so you can sample some more flavors. 

we had decided to order a half Margherita (tomato sauce, cooked buffalo mozzarella, oregano, basil and EVOO) and half Mela (mozzarella, gorgonzola, asparagus, apple and truffle oil).  what we ended up with was half Margherita and half Tartufo (portabello pesto, mushrooms, mozzarella, rosemary and truffle oil). how, you ask, did that happen? simple: that's what happens when you let the out-of-town visitor make the order.

just a heads up about L'asso: it has a distinct hipster-vibe. i'm not anti-hipster (well not overly anti), and the fact that L'asso was hipster was part of the reason i picked it.  i figured if Stinky's going to come to NYC, then we should take her somewhere "trendy" and delicious at the same time. i mean, i've never been to Seattle but i would wager the NYC's got Seattle beat in the hipster uprising. about every employee at L'asso was wearing a fitted flannel shirt and skinny jeans. i rest my case.  so how did the hipster-ness of L'asso result in us getting a pizza we hadn't intended? the waiter, in his flannel and skinny jeans, skinny-tall body type, and intimate colloquialisms, had recommended the Tartufo when Bubby had asked for his "favorite" pizza*. when Stinky was ordering, she must've been brainwashed by the familiar mannerisms of the waiter, as well as his unique (and kind of attractive-i'm not gonna lie) hipster-ness. the rest of us were too busy wrapped up in conversation to notice, so it was a real surprise when our pizza showed up. 

the pizza itself was pretty good.  the Margherita was a little salty due to the sauce, but when eaten in conjunction with the sauce-less Tartufo, which is VERY mushroom-y, it was perfect. and between the 4 of us, the large was the appropriate amount of food to feel full, but not sleepy, and allowed us to continue the night at Spring Lounge for an after-dinner drink.

 
*i actually dislike this question. i don't care what the waiter likes to eat. i don't know him well enough to know what his tastes are like. is he vegetarian? does he prefer gluten-free? would he eat dim sum? these are all questions that invariably affect his taste in food. without knowing the answers to these questions, his opinion "moo" (like a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter-get that reference?). the only variation of the question i accept is "what's the most popular/most frequently ordered dish"? and even then, i actually only slightly care about this answer. i mean, who said i have to eat what the masses eat?

Grandma's

kind of funny, no? or like the pick-up line:

"i'm not a hipster, but i can make your hips stir" which is so apropos for NYC.

not that any of the above has anything to do with this particular post.

at 10 a.m. on a sunday morning i suddenly found myself with 5 seconds to brush my teeth, throw on clothes, and race to the N train in order to meet Kiks in Astoria.  i was moderately hungover and hadn't slept until 4 a.m. (and even then i didn't get much sleep). clearly, there was no time for a shower and my face still had the remnants of my make-up from last night.

so not the appropriate attire to go apple picking. but there i was, at 10:15 a.m., riding the N train from Chinatown to meet Kiks at her apartment and drive up to Tarrytown to go apple picking. so was it worth it to drag my clearly hurting cracked-out ass so far up north just for some apples? TOTALLY.

Probably my favorite picture of the whole day.

Kiks and i went to this orchard last year (when i wasn't so hungover) and had a great time. plus, the whole idea of being outdoors and doing something other than drinking is so...refreshing.  the apple cider and apple cider donuts are always amazing, since they fresh press and fresh bake everything on the premises.  and this time, there were chocolate covered apple cider donuts. it was complete decadence, but so worth it.

on our drive over to the orchard, Kiks made a wrong turn off the highway and we ended up passing a bunch of eateries.  the first one we passed was a restaurant called Grandma's. a quick google search revealed that the full name of this restaurant is Grandma's Pies & Restaurant, although you'd never guess that from seeing the restaurant itself. and i may be using the term "restaurant" a little loosely, as Kiks was quick to designate the establishment as a "diner" as opposed to a "restaurant".

all i can say is that this establishment is quintessentially grandma-ish. there are creepy grandma dolls and pictures placed all over the place, lots of old people and families with children, a kitschy decor of old-school maroons and browns, and just an all-over...grandma-feel to it. and the food is your usual not too healthy for your hamburgers, mac-and-cheese fare. although, it seemed like Grandma's was making a killing in the pie department.  when you first step into the establishment, you're greeted with a display case of a variety of pies (fruit, cream, you name it), and i noticed many people stopping in to purchase pies, and diners paying their check and picking up a pie to-go.


the food at Grandma's is "meh," i wouldn't really call it grandma-worthy, but the jokes and comments about the name make it totally worth a trip. i kept getting the recurring image from the movie, The Sweetest Thing:

dates are a minefield of bizarre behavior

yes, i've said it before and i'll say it again: dates are a weird cultural phenomena. and yes, i fully admit the possibility that it's just me. maybe i am ill-equipped for dates. but even if that IS the reality, i'm still going to try to plead my case as to why it's NOT just me.

Case study #1
Setting: Afternoon, happy hour drinks.

Time: 4:30 p.m.-changed to 5:00 p.m. because i was running very late.

Location: Cantina in Park Slope. which just proves my dedication because i actually traveled past my usual brooklyn zone-of-comfort.

CS1 was kind of cute, and not an awful conversationalist (i've met worse), BUT things took a turn south when it became blatantly apparent that CS1 was only looking for 1 thing. i don't think i have to elaborate on what that 1 thing is.

i guess i should be thankful that he was upfront about it, as opposed to attempting to get it in more devious ways. and i'm sure some girls appreciate the honesty and will find his slightly-cocky-flirtatious demeanor attractive. for me personally, i'll pass. these types of guys are sometimes fun if i meet them at a club and crowded bar around midnight or later. they're fun to flirt with, they pay for drinks, and, to their credit, they try very hard to get you on board with their "agenda." but, guys like these just seem skeevy and shmarmy at 4:30 in the afternoon on an actual date.

um, yea buddy, you can stop touching me and rubbing my thigh/lower back now. thanks.

Case Study #2
Setting: Evening, pre-dinner drinks.


Time: 8:00 p.m.


Location: Angel's Share in the East Village. we completely lucked out and got a table right away. or he did, since i was running late (again). great spot in the back right next to a giant window view, comfy velvet seats, intimate dim lighting from the candle on the table and the street lamps outside. bonus points for the location. o wait, i picked it out. so, just bonus points to myself?


CS2 was also attractive, in the skinny, dorky way that i DO find adorable. -1 for being korean, but +1 for not being a rigid korean since he grew up like me in a white suburb. possible -1 for being a frat boy (depending on how much beer pong references and "dudes" are dropped in the conversation).


CS2 is a nice guy, a little quiet, which is actually pretty endearing. plus, he's cute. and that can go a long way on a first date, particularly with a chatty cathy like me.


but it's not all peaches and cream. the date was exceptionally long (6-7 hours). i let it go on because i saw some potential AND i was crashing at a friend's house that night but he wasn't home from his wedding upstate yet. i could've gone to meet up with some other friends, but every time it seemed like the date was going to end, he seemed to want to continue hanging out, so i just went with the flow. long dates are good when you're so connected to someone that 7 hours feels like 2 hours. but when i start to feel a little sleepy on our date, that's not such a great sign.


and then there's CS2's extracurricular activity. i'm not going to go into particulars, but unless CS2's got a case of cancer or glaucoma, i don't think it's a legal activity. while i'm not judgmental about these things (you know what they say about people in glass houses), it's not a subject i broach with many people. particularly on a first date.


CS2 isn't completely out of the running right now, but there are some serious red flags.

AGAIN with the dream?

as i've mentioned before, i get really disturbed when i have dreams about real people. don't ask me why, i really couldn't tell you. and it disturbs me more when it's people that i know in real life, but haven't seen in years. it's even more disturbing when it's someone i know in real life, haven't seen in years, and wasn't that close with to begin with.

because then i feel like a creeper.

a week ago, i had a really weird dream about a boy i went to high school with, let's call him MitsubishiG, and a girl i went to high school with, let's call her Tulip. MitsubishiG and Tulip were both a year older than me and had dated on-again-and-off-again in high school. they were the quintessential suburban-high-school-prom-king-prom-queen-footballer-cheerleader couple.  i was briefly friends with MitsubishiG when i was freshman and he dated my friend for a few weeks but that ended when they broke up. after that, we never really travelled in the same circles again. 

so here's what happened in my dream (from what i can remember): MitsubishiG and Tulip were married and had become C-list celebrities on a trashy reality show.  they were a completely white-trash couple doing awful things for viewership and ratings. and the last thing i remember was they were getting renewed for a 2nd season and were releasing a sex tape.

weird, right? and not very nice either.

i can guess why i dreamed up the reality show part of it, because i'm pretty sure the last thing i'd watched on tv that night was the Jersey Shore.  but it doesn't explain why i dreamed about these particular people. in fact, until that dream, i hadn't heard their names mentioned since college, if even then!

what also bothered me was why i dreamed that they were married. so of course, i spent a good 15 minutes facebooking and googling their names.  as it turns out, MitsubishiG doesn't have a facebook page (there are still people like this out there? crazy).  but Tulip has one.

and guess what? her name's no longer Tulip. it's Mrs. MitsubishiG.

not even for a minute

speaking of nights i can't remember, i really have to remember to eat dinner when i'm drinking, otherwise i end up playing a game of "whodunnit" the next morning.


things were off to such a good start initially.


i made plans with Kiks to meet up after (finally) getting a haircut in Chinatown. our initial plan was to check out Smorgasburg so that we could eat while still being outside and enjoying the sunny weather. there was a street fair going on so we walked from Chinatown to Soho in order to check out a surf shop/coffee shop i had recently read about.  yes that's right: a surf shop in NYC. that by itself is worth checking out. but add a backyard garden area for lounging? BONUS. Saturdays Surf NYC fits in perfectly in Soho as hipster and crunchy all at same time. yes, surfboards are cool. and coffee is cool. but the only reason i would have to go to Saturdays Surf NYC is the backyard patio area. super tranquil, spacious, yet cozy, you buy a coffee at the front of the store and meander your way to the back to sit on wooden benches with a friend and pretend to be hipper than you really are.

after coffee we made our way over to Filene's Basement in Union Square in order for Kiks to pick up some much needed intimates since she's lost so much weight that her old ones don't fit anymore (apparently Weight Watchers does work). at that point, Kiks was so hungry she couldn't even consider waiting and taking the L train to Williamsburg to eat at Smorgasburg, so we stopped for food at Crooked Tree instead for what i've heard are amazing crepes.

Crooked Tree is a tiny little place in the East Village. that supposedly serves up wunderbar crepes. although, now that i think about it, i've only heard rave reviews from ppl who went there after a night of drinking around 2 or 3 am. so maybe that would explain why the Spinach, garlic & hot pepper flakes ($6) and the Brie, plum tomato & arugala ($8) crepes Kiks and i ordered, while very sober, were just "meh."   However, that being said, the sangria at Crooked Tree is definitely worth an afternoon trip. i'm not often a fan of white sangria, just like i'm not really a fan of white wine, but the selection offered at Crooked Tree, mixed with peach, passionfruit, and various other light, summer-y fruits, have made me change my mind (or at least that's what i'll order if i'm around there again).

with plenty of time to kill before our other friends finished their Saturday errands and met up with us, Kiks and i racked our brains to try and figure what we could do in the East Village on a sunny afternoon. i don't know what it reveals about us, but the only things we could think of involved establishments that didn't open until after 6 p.m.  as luck would have it, Sixteen, happened to be only 2 blocks from where we were, watching a play that was being performed on 10th Street.  i love when that happens. and if i lived in NY, it would probably happen more often.


within the half hour, we'd decided to head to Professor Thom's to watch the Yankees vs. Red Sox game. i've heard of the bar before, mainly because of DRC and BGA, both UMich alumni.  so i was more than surprised when the waitress who came to take our drink order was decked out in head-to-toe Red Sox gear. Red Sox fan in NY? i commented on it, and was promptly informed i was currently situated in Red Sox Nation. i looked around and noticed all the Red Sox sports paraphernalia and realized it was true. who knew? only in NYC right? 


the afternoon quickly downward spiraled into night as more and more peeps came out to join us. lots and lots of Dewars on the rocks. you can imagine what happened to me by the end of the night. by the time Newlyweds arrived, my rolling brownouts had started again. thank god they always have my back because apparently AM was making moves to try and get me and him to continue the night together. alone. which would not have been a good idea considering how NOT clear-headed i was.   


Newlyweds decided to walk me over to Sixteen's apartment, with the two-fold intention of making sure i got there safely and also to shake off AM. but in true AM form, he refused to take the hint and tagged along, which prolonged the walk. a good side effect of the whole experience was i finally got to try Baohaus.  if i'd been more sober, i would've ordered up a whole variety of baos to try.  instead, even though i hadn't eaten dinner all night, i insisted i wasn't hungry and didn't order anything. which just goes to prove how drunk i was. luckily, Newlyweds had the foresight to order me a Chairman Bao, which was pretty tasty (from what i remember).  the bao is nice and soft, as it should be, but the flavor derives directly from whichever filling you choose. The Chairman Bao consists of Berkshire pork belly topped with crushed peanuts, cilantro, haus relish, and Taiwanese red sugar. i wish i could tell you that i remember all those flavors, but i don't. all i can vouch for is that it was tasty. 

after the baos, Newlyweds called an audible in order to rescue me from AM. they hailed a cab and pulled me in with them, then gave Sixteen's address to the cab driver. after we were 2 blocks away from where we'd just ditched AM, Newlyweds hopped out of the cab to take the subway back to their Brooklyn Heights apartment, leaving me in the cab to safely get to my destination.  talk about sneaky and clever, all at the same time.


 when i think about this night, i can't really say where/when it derailed into such a debaucherous event. nor can i calculate exactly when/what/which drink was the cause of the rolling brownouts. but it just goes to show you, you can't let your guard down, not even for a minute.

we all need a little bit sometimes

"Me, I'm used to being tired and bloody
But you believed that I could be somebody.
You put your world on hold for me
Gave away to follow failure through the fire."

                                                                   Hedley, For the Nights I Can't Remember

i don't know how this song came to be on my iPod, but every time i hear it, these particular lyrics always jump out at me. call me a hopelessly romantic sap (yes, pls, go ahead. i admit it), but that's what i want. in an ideal world, i would feel that passionately about somebody and they would feel that way about me. in an ideal world. which we (or at least I) don't live in.

i think it's this aspect of my personality that has allowed Door and i to remain in contact for all these years. Door was my 1st boyfriend ever. we're talking about 7th grade love here, if love when you were in 7th grade can really be called love at all. but for whatever reason, Door and i have managed to keep tabs on each other for the 10+ years since we first met.  we don't talk every day, but instead randomly contact each other probably once a year, which lasts for about 1-3 wks, and then we fade back into the ether.

usually our communications coincide with some relationship crisis one of us is dealing with at the moment. and that is a dangerous game to play.

exes can play a crucial role in bolstering your own self-worth and appeal, pending of course that the relationship didn't end in a horrific ball of fire. because there was attraction in the first place (that's why you dated), to some degree it will always be there. in a nutshell: exes make me feel pretty.  and everyone needs a little bit of that sometimes. even if you're the most confident mofo on the planet, it's still nice to get affirmation from others. and exes are a great go-to source.

but be forewarned, it's double-edged sword. never tread into ex-waters if you don't know how it will go or at least be prepared for the consequences. walk into an ex-situation blindly and you could end up battered and bruised, at least your ego anyways.

Male Minded

ok, no joke, i seriously love this blog. yes, he's only 18  years old. but clearly smarter than half of the boys i've encountered in my life. or maybe he's just more naive. but either way, me likes it.

i definitely really relate to some of his posts. so, for the following, all credit to Jeremiah and all his hard work, with a little bit of me sprinkled into it.

i get called out all the time about this. yes, i refer to all of the male species as boys. and apparently, i'm not wrong. i'm glad to finally be vindicated!

this is a serious issue i have with some boys. ok, i get it. boys don't bitch as often. you guys are "he-men, womenhaters" (Lil' Rascals reference for those of you that got it) blah blah blah. i guess i'm just not as "strong" as you. and i like to talk about what's bothering me instead of just punching someone in the face or never speaking to them again. so why don't you just listen? or pretend to listen? and i mean you Gohm and OHenry.

this one's the reason i found Jeremiah's blog because Kiddo shared it on FB. and i laughed out loud when i read it because i know so many people who do this. and i might even do it myself though not often because i'm too lazy to type all those "y"s. but even when i'm too lazy to type the extra "y"s, in my head it still sounds like "heyyyy."

these i just like because they're cute. i'm a horrible texter unless it's an emergency or imperative to respond right away (like when you're coordinating meeting someone) so i don't think they really apply to me.

anyways, go check out his blog. since it's tumblr-form it's an easy read and if you don't enjoy it, then you can't be my friend. because i probably wouldn't like you anyways.

Single as a Dollar Bill

i got totally CBed by my co-worker. true story.

ever since my firm announced it was thinking about "downsizing" an interesting situation began to develop in my office. the day after the partners informed us of this predicament, the other 2 associates and i all happened to be staying late and for once, all the partners had left the office already. while we've always had a professional relationship within the workplace, we had never attempted to carry that relationship outside of the office.  since it looked like 1 of us would be terminated soon, we figured there was nothing to lose and decided we should all go out for happy hours together more often (or for the first time).

so the first Associates' Night Out was born.

one Friday night we found ourselves at the Famished Frog in Morristown.  it'd been my suggestion to go since Morristown is located halfway between my house and work. plus, no matter how many years have passed, i know it's a popular happy hour spot. how do i know that? back when i worked at Pressler & Pressler when it was still located in Cedar Knolls, we often ended up there after work.

it's been a good 5 years since i've been back there but the Frog looked exactly the same. and the people were all exactly the same. but the truly unnerving part was when i saw some of my old co-workers from my P&P days. who were still working at P&P. and still coming to the Frog.

there had been an issue with our dinner check; when the tables were being moved away to make room for the band, we got moved along wit them but then we never saw our waitress again to get a dinner check or pay for our meal. i stepped outside while my co-workers, the good samaritans they are, attempted to deal with it.

a conversation ensued with myself and a group of people standing next to me. who all worked at P&P. for all the gripes i have about having worked there, i've got to admit, their employees know how to have a good time. probably because they're all fresh out of college. 1 guy i was talking to was an attorney at P&P, having graduated from Seton Hall the same year i finished at BLS. i commiserated with him about working for P&P and he attempted to convince me stick around to have a few more drinks with him.

i was contemplating the offer. after all, he was cute. that's when my co-workers arrived next to me. i made introductions and things quickly went south. my guy co-worker started to give the CuteAttorney a hard time about working at P&P and how that's not "really attorney work. come on." and he didn't stop.

no surprise that the conversation was kiboshed quickly. i can't believe my co-worker CBed me.

nobody nobody but you

my new favorite outdoor destination for chatting and relaxing is the High Line. i know, i'm a johnny-come-lately to the High Line party, but better late than never, right?

Kiddo and i had dinner plans at Park Avenue Summer and since the weather was hot and sunny, i decided to spend some time with ArrangedMarriage and kill 2 birds with 1 stone by arranging to go to the High Line together. coincidentally, AM's apartment is very close to the High Line so it all worked out well.

the High Line is a great park to walk along with a friend/date and enjoy the tall views and interesting architecture and design of the park itself. there's also various spots to lay down and sunbathe, rest, or grab a seat to talk/eat. the key point is that while the park itself is interesting conversation fodder for about 10-15 mins, you'd best go there with someone you can hold a conversation with.

otherwise it's just........awkward.......silence.......

where you're acutely aware that there's an uncomfortable lull in conversation and now you're just walking with someone beside you looking at stuff and not talking. if i'd wanted to do that i could've just gone to the High Line myself. at least then i could've stopped and sat to observe the views and contemplate lofty thoughts instead of frantically trying to think of something to talk about with AM. he seriously doesn't like to make my life easy.

luckily, at the end of High Line is a new space called the Lot. we purchased some drink tickets and beer at the Lot on Tap and grabbed a seat on the long bench tables placed throughout the outdoor space. and we sat directly in front of the Korilla BBQ truck. it was one of the hardest temptations i've had to endure. i knew i was going to eat a 3-course dinner with Kiddo so i didn't want to spoil my appetite but the truck kept taunting me with yummy deliciousness. one day, Korilla, one day you WILL be mine.

a return trip on the High Line led us to Chelsea Market, which i haven't been to in years since i rarely find myself on the west side anymore.  since i love all things food, it's no surprise i liked Chelsea Market. the trip also yielded gelate from L'Arte del Gelato, which, while pricey, gelato is always a treat.

i booked it uptown to meet Kiddo for our dinner reservation at Park Avenue Summer, which i was totally looking forward to. the last time i ate at Park Avenue was during the winter, and every winter Restaurant Week following that 1 time has had the same menu. come on now, really?! for a restaurant that's supposed to change with the seasons to serve the best food for that season, you'd think they'd also have a more innovative menu with each season. so you can imagine how amped i was to finally get to partake in a completely different tasting menu for the summer season.

i'm glad Kiddo is a seasoned RW eater like me so we know not to order the same foods if at all possible. that way we can get a wider range of options to sample. the meal was off to refreshing start when we were served with an amuse bouche of watermelon topped with goat cheese/creme fraiche foam. while the amuse itself was good, i wasn't overly impressed by the culinary prowess (aside from the foam part-i mean, i can cut watermelon too, but i admittedly cannot make flavored foam). but the presentation was adorable as little watermelon lollipops sprouting from a box of grass. 

we ordered the Salmon Tartar and Potato Gnocchi with Summer Corn and Truffles as appetizers. the tartar was a nice and light option to counteract the creamy potato gnocchi which was laden with butter and cream. i could seriously taste the insane amount of butter that  must've gone into that dish. but in that salty, buttery good way. i'm sure it's completely degenerate and unhealthy of me to say that, but i did it anyway.

as entrees Kiddo chose the Dr. Pepper Baby Back Ribs and i opted for the Scottish Salmon. the ribs were cooked to tender so you didn't really need a knife to eat it. and while it was good, i thought it was a bit sweet, but then again, that's why they're Dr. Pepper right? i was actually a bigger fan of the accompanying peach coleslaw it was served with which seemed a perfect summer side. and i love all things peach right now. the salmon was perfectly cooked so it was crispy on the outside but still moist and tender on the inside. i liked the accompanying cold cucumber side that came with it to help balance out the slight saltiness of the fish.

for dessert Kiddo smartly opted for the selection of sorbets, and there is quite a selection and you get to pick 2! i ordered the Peach Panna Cotta with Basil Foam which was pretty dense for a panna cotta but maybe what i think panna cotta is is not what it actually is. it was good, but Kiddo's dessert was clearly the winner, particularly on such a hot summer night.

afterwards, Kiddo had some time to kill before meeting up with (what would be) a very good date (wink wink, nudge nudge), so we went for drinks at K-town in K-town. this place has a seedy underbelly feel to it because it's downstairs with no natural light. but then you notice the giant projector screens are blasting kpop. i'm actually a big fan of this place because they do amazing soju happy hours everday. twice a day. Kiddo and i killed a bottle of soju and then parted ways.


speaking of kpop, as i was rushing towards my Park Avenue Summer reservation, i passed a slightly surly-looking but cute korean girl and did a double take. who to my surprise did i just walk past? Sohee of Wonder Girls! since she did not look happy and i was running late for my reservation, i didn't stop to gawk (too long), but i was super stoked and immediately had to Facebook the sighting for Stitch and GMW.

HEEEEY yooooou guuuuuys~

mini-law school reunion in Richmond, VA! woot woot! SHOT SHOT SHOT, SHOTSHOT!

ok, so not quite that Jersey Shore-ish. but still fun nonetheless. haven't gone down to Richmond to visit BigBoobsMcGee and KappaGamma in a while so Kiddo, BGA, and i packed our bags and drove the 6 hrs down to Virginia for the weekend.

the drive down is always focused on 1 thing: when are we stopping at Chik-fil-A? there really is no other option since we're so Chik-fil-A deprived up in the north.  we always get pretty amped when  the "food" signs on the side of the highway start listing Chik-fil-A with the frequency of McDonald's. and since BGA had never had Chik-fil-A before, it sealed the deal as to where we would stop for dinner (we had been debating between Chik-fil-A or Sonic). and as BGA dug into his peach milkshake (with real peach fruit bits!) and his spicy crispy chicken sandwich, he had to admit, "hate tastes GOOD." for all of Chik-fil-A's religious, conversative, left-wing ideology and belief, it's some damn good food. which made Kiddo postulate the question, "i wonder what Nazi food tastes like?"  if hate has a direct ratio to taste, i can only guess it was delicious.


NOM NOM NOM! hate tastes delicious!

we arrived in Richmond after 11 p.m. and drove straight to Cous Cous to meet up with the law school crew, which included KG, BBM, and Cubed, who had flown down from Boston. we drank and danced to 80s and 90s hip hop until the wee hours of...1:30 a.m. o yea, i forgot, we're not in NYC anymore. bars actually do have closing times and last calls.

Cous Cous was a pretty great bar, although i haven't been in such a packed, sweaty environment in a while. it was like a sauna in there, but the cheap drinks made up for it (a Jameson on the rocks and a Jack & diet=$11.00). not to mention the daebak fashion. guys wearing jean cutoffs/ jorts and multi-colored tank tops with flip flops? daaaaebak. although at 1 point i realized how young the crowd was: Whitney Houston's, "How Will I Know" came on and BGA, KG and i belted our hearts out in excitement, which prompted this exchange:

"Wow, looks like you guys really grew up with this song" says RichmondHipster next to me wearing a cutoff sleeves t-shirt, bandana/headband, and jorts.

"Uh...yeah! you DIDN'T?"

"No... but i remember my older sister blasting this song all the time!"

uh...how old are you? that's when i looked around the room and realized how young these Virginia hipsters were. my night out had also become an impromptu babysitting excursion. the girl behind me clearly did not like HipsterBaby talking to me and promptly wedged herself between us (it was really weird, she was practically leaning on me in order to push us apart). i wanted to tell her, "don't worry. i'm not after your HipsterBaby because while i was bopping around to Whitney and Debbie, he was still in diapers and pacifiers."

after the bar closed, we headed back to BBM's where Cubed promptly passed out. or was he? we all attempted to wake Cubed up. when KG tried, Cubed reacted violently by yelling "don't touch me! you're too hot!" and slid from the air mattress down to the floor in his endeavor to escape from her. and although Cubed acted as if he was dead to the world, yet when i threatened to molest him if he didn't wake up, all of a sudden a mischievous smile appeared on his face...suspicious. very suspicious.

KG, BGA and i were the only ones still awake and since i'd had the foresight to request Firefly be purchased from the liquor store before our arrival, we continued the night. i'm still surprised we killed a whole new bottle of Firefly in the time between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. it was a total slumber party with talks about boys and sex and other inappropriate sleepover topics.

the next morning was a much needed liquid brunch from Village Cafe. the food was ok, but the real winner was the drinks! anything non-alcoholic is served in a mini-pitcher! considering how dehydrated i was, this was the perfect remedy. and the bloody mary was pretty good too, particularly if you like them spicy.

the perfect liquid brunch. in order of hydration quality: water, diet coke, and bloody mary. i'd also wanted a milkshake (they looked epic) but was convinced by BGA to wait until after the meal...and then we forgot.

after brunch was a romp in the St. James River. meh. i've never been much of an outdoorsy/nature girl so after 30 mins the novelty of the river wore off. the boys on the other hand, loved it, as did BBM. KG on the other hand, is even more nature-phobic than me. it probably took a good 25 mins before she was even willing to enter the water. and she claims she's not high maintenance some times.

after the river, BBM, BGA, and i headed out to pick up dinner from Cook Out. daeeebak. amazing milkshakes in over 20+ flavors and super cheap and delicious barbecue, burgers, chicken. although i totally ordered wrong by opting for a burger cheddar style (1/4 lb. patty topped with bacon, cheddar, onions and mayo) instead of the barbecue sandwich (pulled pork north carolina style meaning coleslaw and hot sauce), it was still amazing and a whole meal was only $4.39 + $1 for a specialty shake instead of a soda. you must go there now.

trouble started when we stopped at 7-11 for provisions. all of a sudden, BBM's car wouldn't start. now, although BBM, BGA, and i are all functioning and well adjusted adults, none of us knew jack about cars. and then the most amazing thing happened: a random stranger came over and asked BBM to pop her hood and began helping us!! i shit you not. when the hell does that ever happen?

turns out BBM needed to jump her battery but no one had jumper cables. fortuitously, we had broken down across the street from a car dealership so BGA and i trekked over to humbly request to borrow their jumper box. as the salesman handed us the jumper box, he said he needed us to leave some collateral like a wallet, purse, etc. which makes perfect sense to BGA and myself and we started to reach for something to leave with him. except he was kidding! whaaa?!?! you mean you'll let us just walk off with this piece of equipment and trust that we'll bring it back?

BGA and i just looked at each other in disbelief. where the hell were we? ohhhhh, right. we're in the South.

crisis averted, we brought the food home and all sat down to dinner, during which we realized BGA has not seen any of the classic 80s movie e.g. Pretty in Pink, Better Off Dead, Breakfast Club, Princess Bride, Sixteen Candles, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Goonies, etc. since we had made a liquor and beer run, we decided to bunk down for the night and watch Goonies and Princess Bride.

p.s. Goonies drinking game. daeeebak.

p.p.s. BGA didn't like (and might even hate) Princess Bride! i know! INCONCEIVABLE!

Which Seth Meyers Was It?

ugh. every time my 18 year old sister gets action, she posts it on her tumblr. whenever i see it i have three simultaneous reactions:
1. nausea and revulsion (i'm considering them 1 single reaction)
2. trauma
3. the urge to severely harm/castrate the guy who's doing it

::involuntary convulsion & shudder:: in order to prevent myself from suffering PTS and facing assault and battery charges, let's talk about something else...



Kiddo and my NOM NOM faces!



ARGH!! of course they stamp my passport on top of other stamps i've received instead of using a new page.  i'm always trying to fill up my passport pages. FAIL.

it's been ages since i actually travelled anywhere, mainly because it's so hard to get people's schedules coordinated and nobody really has the funds (although sometimes i think that's a crock. we can spend $600 in a month on god-knows-what but can't spend that same money on a vacation? BOOOO). so when Kiddo mentioned he wanted to get away, i jumped on the opportunity. after much discussion and internet price comparing, we agreed on an all-inclusive long weekend in Playa del Carmen.

apparently everyone was in the same mindset as us because Oppa went to Playa del Carmen the week before us, and Spoon was actually in Playa del Carmen the same weekend as us. what are the odds?

i had all these lofty ideas for the vacation that were promptly thrown out the window when i contracted acute pharyingitis the week of the trip. go figure.  but i (wo)man-ed up, got myself some antibiotics, and continued on my way. of course, not being able to breath without coughing up a lung immediately nixed any ideas of snorkeling, cenotes, and hiking. but it didn't preclude laying on the beach and tanning. so all wasn't lost.

Mexico greets you with Hugs and Kisses on every corner!

Kiddo's first Eggs Benny!

arriving at the airport is always an exciting part of a trip for me because it signals the official start. the airport is your gateway to a new destination. and from check-in until your plane lands, the entire time is spent building up your anticipation and excitement for the trip itself.  not to mention all the fun distractions they have e.g. the Nintendo 3DS kiosk. Kiddo also ate his first Eggs Benedict! i can't believe he's lived these past 26 years without ever having eaten it-and even weirder that his first time was at the airport.

I have no idea what "Watkins" tastes like, but the bottle's cool, no? And then Kiddo and i tried to photograph something else and was scolded by airport security...

the JetBlue flight on the way to Mexico was comfy since Kiddo and i had a whole row to ourselves. being 5 ft 2, i don't worry too much about sitting space since i don't need too much of it. however, it was while looking at Kiddo that i realized exactly how spacious the JetBlue seats really are. Kiddo's at least 6 ft (i think-then again, anyone over 5'8 is a giant to me) and he still had plenty of space.



Amazing art and artist using spray paint and fire.

Playa del Carmen itself was, as expected, beautiful and the vacation was a well needed moment of rest and relaxation. if i hadn't contracted the Bubonic Plague, i would have loved to have gone snorkeling and hiking Tulum and all those activities. however, simply laying about on the beach and taking dips in the ocean sufficed for this trip; and gives me a reason to go back...



Cigar rolling on 5th Ave. Ahh, the smell of grandpas around the world (in a good way)



See the monkeys in the tree?


i have no regrets about this trip except for 1: when we arrived at the airport and made our way out to the taxi and shuttle stands, i noticed a car service holding up a sign that said: SETH MEYERS/CANCUN. i immediately thought of this person:

Isn't he an SNL cutie?

whereas Kiddo immediately thought of him:

The name is Seth MacFarlane, Kiddo!

except, in doing my research for this picture, i realized the creator of Family Guy is called Seth MacFarlane, not Seth Meyers. so although i'd wondered, "which Seth Meyers was in Cancun the weekend of May 25th?" it turns out it was all for naught.

and now the title to this post makes very little sense...