What I Should Be Doing

as i watch Baby Boom i'm reminded of the fact that to be a good human being, you must love babies. if you look at a cute baby and don't go, "aaaaaaaaaaaw," then you're truly dead inside. i'm sorry, but it's the truth. i'm not gonna lie and say there aren't ugly babies out there, but they're pretty few and far between. for the most part babies are just adorable. sigh, i can't wait to get one of my own. altho, as i've always freely admitted: giving birth scares the crap out of me. it truly does. just thinking about it makes my vajayjay twinge a little.

if you've noticed, i've kind of stalled out on updating recently. it's just been either too crazy, or too boring right now. and altho it's finals period for me, it's not like the usual finals period where i'm holed up studying and staring at outlines. this time i'm actually frought with deadlines for designing webpages, revising memos, and preparing for fake divorce mediations. so this past 2 weeks have been actually quite busy and i've been on the computer constantly, but not in a fun way. even at this moment, i should be revising my summary judgment memo. i'm just 2 pages away from finishing, and it's due today, but i'm still taking a break to write this.

so why i have i been remiss in updating? to be honest, i feel like things in my life have hit a wall. a predictable, unending, circular wall. sometimes i feel like i'm even having the same conversation over and over again. and it makes me want to throw my hands up in the air and put a stop to it all. except i can't. this is my life, and i must accept it. it's not like i can afford to just drop everything and start again somewhere new. it's just not possible, and i am a believer in your life is what you make it. if you're not happy, it's up to you to change it because nothing solves itself and things don't just go away on their own. hmmm... even this paragraph is circular logic because i've just talked myself back to the beginning of my problem.

but it's 2 AM and i'm too tired to figure that out right now. what i should be doing is finishing this revision. it's what i should be doing...