we all need a little bit sometimes

"Me, I'm used to being tired and bloody
But you believed that I could be somebody.
You put your world on hold for me
Gave away to follow failure through the fire."

                                                                   Hedley, For the Nights I Can't Remember

i don't know how this song came to be on my iPod, but every time i hear it, these particular lyrics always jump out at me. call me a hopelessly romantic sap (yes, pls, go ahead. i admit it), but that's what i want. in an ideal world, i would feel that passionately about somebody and they would feel that way about me. in an ideal world. which we (or at least I) don't live in.

i think it's this aspect of my personality that has allowed Door and i to remain in contact for all these years. Door was my 1st boyfriend ever. we're talking about 7th grade love here, if love when you were in 7th grade can really be called love at all. but for whatever reason, Door and i have managed to keep tabs on each other for the 10+ years since we first met.  we don't talk every day, but instead randomly contact each other probably once a year, which lasts for about 1-3 wks, and then we fade back into the ether.

usually our communications coincide with some relationship crisis one of us is dealing with at the moment. and that is a dangerous game to play.

exes can play a crucial role in bolstering your own self-worth and appeal, pending of course that the relationship didn't end in a horrific ball of fire. because there was attraction in the first place (that's why you dated), to some degree it will always be there. in a nutshell: exes make me feel pretty.  and everyone needs a little bit of that sometimes. even if you're the most confident mofo on the planet, it's still nice to get affirmation from others. and exes are a great go-to source.

but be forewarned, it's double-edged sword. never tread into ex-waters if you don't know how it will go or at least be prepared for the consequences. walk into an ex-situation blindly and you could end up battered and bruised, at least your ego anyways.