now, she was REALLY pretty

on Friday night i found Sully and i arrived at Malatesta for a surprise birthday dinner for She. which was a little ironic since that was where i had had my own surprise birthday dinner a year ago. 

as always, the food was amazing (the Spinach Gnocchi made more than 1 appearance at our table. aah, the power of Yelp) and i won't bore you by discussing it again (read my former post).

instead, some other interesting events happened, that made me think:

1. upon entering the restaurant, the first person i ran into wasn't a guest for the party, but instead a friend i'd known from middle school/high school (so over a decade ago). i hadn't spoken to her since high school, but we occasionally play random games of Scramble with Friends against each other.

of course it was great to see her and we did a brief catch-up with all the usual suspects.  there was 1 part of the whole situation that caused a little discussion between Sully and myself later which was that i never introduced her to my friends for the party. which may have been a little awkward since we were all squeezed into the waiting vestibule while we waited for our reservation to be completed. 

my thought process had simply been that this individual was not a close friend of mine, nor was it likely that i would ever see her again (at least not intentionally). so i saw very little point to introduce her to the people i was with.  in addition, i was with at least 4 other people, while also waiting for 2 more. it just seemed slightly cumbersome to make such a lengthy introduction for somebody that i would never see again. 

apparently, other people were more curious.  Sully assumed she was a family friend that would go back to my family and inform them that i was dating someone (which was not the case). others were simply just curious about the random stranger i had run into. 

in retrospect, should i have introduced her to everyone? did she expect me to? would i have expected to be introduced if i had been in her position?

2. the second experience is less of an etiquette question and more me unburdening what i recall as an unpleasant experience.  boyfriends pay attention.

right when people were winding down from their entrees, Sully received a phone call from his brother and stepped away from the table. he didn't come back to dinner until after dessert was completed. already, i was a little annoyed by this, but decided not to press the issue since my friends and i were having a good time anyway. 

it turned out that Sully's brother had gotten a blue screen on his laptop and needed help fixing it,  i used the opportunity to tell Egg, She, and Dr.Dre a story about Sully's brother.

I have yet to meet Sully's brother. on a recent trip to Flushing, Sully called his brother for a nearby restaurant recommendation.  when SB found out Sully was with me, he immediately started harassing Sully via text to send him a picture of me. in a million years, i would never want SB to see a picture of me without meeting me in person and here's why: in the past,  Sully had been dating a girl and when Sully showed SB the picture, SB's immediate response was to call the girl "atrocious." yea, he sounds like a real peach right? while i think i'm fine (as in not hideous), there's no way in hell i'm going to subject myself to that kind of no-holds-barred judgment.

so i was in the midst of relaying this story to my friends and had just gotten to the part where SB had criticized Sully's ex, when Sully interjected:

"and this ex, she was really pretty, if you know what i mean."

::awkward looks all around the table, including me::

"i mean, really pretty"

Egg: "uh....Sully? you might want to rethink your last phrase..."

"no, i mean, she was pretty. you know, pretty."

::sigh:: i chuckled the comment off and rolled my eyes at my friends and barreled on with the story although it obviously came to a lackluster finish. the climax should've been the insensitivity of SB, but instead, Sully managed to steal the thunder with his "she was REALLY pretty" comment. 

now, i've let Sully's comment slide. i mean, i've given him a little ribbing about it, and brought it up a few times since, but never in a "we need to have a serious talk about this" manner. it's sort of like a rock and a hard place for a girlfriend: i have no problem admitting that i may not be the prettiest or most beautiful girl my significant other has ever dated. but Sully's comment hits me the wrong way for the following:

A. it's the unspoken and inferred that's the worst about his comment. that if she was really pretty and his brother found her "atrocious" then who's to say what he would say about me? and in that implication is the obvious unspoken statement: that i am less pretty (or perhaps closer to atrocious) than his ex-girlfriend and his brother would rip me apart.

B. actually Sully had already made this comment to me before. obviously that's how i knew about the whole anecdote. and i'd pointed out the same thing as stated in above "A." but a private conversation that reveals a subconscious thought has a very different feeling than a public comment made in front of close friends.

it was definitely embarrassing to haveSully reveal that he thought i was less attractive than another girl in front of my friends. my friends who knew we were dating. i actually felt my face get red after he made the comment. and even as i tried to laugh it off, it felt humiliating to have to act that way in front of my friends e.g. it doesn't bother me that my boyfriend thinks i'm less/not attractive.

i guess it was a blessing that Malatesta is poorly lit so nobody noticed and that we left the restaurant shortly after that.

and while it's great to unburden this to the amorphous ether that is the internet, rehashing it also reminds me again of how it bugged me.

Dirty 30

my 30th birthday was looming over my head for the past 2 weeks, and i honestly could care less. work's been a crazy bundle of deadlines and doc review, i upgraded to a bigger room in my apartment and have been wrangling with what to do in the new (and larger) space, and my body's been on a slow guerilla warfare revolt against me lately making me randomly sick at the most inopportune moments.

clearly, my birthday is at the bottom of my list of concerns. and, if you've read previous birthday posts, you would know how i strongly dislike planning anything for my bday. so when tuesday rolled around, i decided to make no announcement and just let it fly under the radar. my only plans were to catch dinner with Kiddo and Jorts, and that was only because Kiddo asked me on monday night whether i had dinner plans for tuesday (which i did not) although i have a standing appointment with Jorts every tuesday night to watch Savage U at 11 pm. since usually i make dinner for Jorts and i while drinking a bottle of wine, i invited Jorts to dinner as well so we could go straight to my place after dinner to watch the show.

understanding we all have budgetary concerns, i suggested dinner at Malatesta, which was recently added to my on-going list of places i want to try. and since Kiddo has an undying love for Max, i figured Malatesta would be a good way to switch it up, while still offering yummy italian for a reasonable price. so on a beautiful, tuesday evening, i headed over to the West Village to meet up with my friends for dinner.

i arrived first and left my name with the waitress. there was a woman before me, who also left her name for a party of 2 and was advised of a 15-minute wait. so i was a little surprised when i left my name for my party of 3 and was told i could be seated as soon as my party arrived. a little odd? yes. a red-flag? nope. 


so i was very surprised when i saw Kiddo rounding the corner with a little posse consisting of MrsButtersworth, JimmyDean, and BlackSesame. SURPRISE! and a great one at that. i literally couldn't wipe the grin off my face for the rest of the evening.  the best surprises are the ones that are completely unexpected.

plus, with a larger crowd, we could all eat more off the menu. Malatesta doesn't have a crazy long menu, but offers simple italian fare in a refreshing manner and style. on the day we went, it was perfect weather. the whole restaurant was an open space spilling out onto the sidewalk, which made me even more excited for the arrival of summer, when the sidewalk restaurant is available on almost every block of NYC.

we ordered to reasonably-priced bottles of red wine and an Artichoke Salad ($9-special of the day), Funghi di Prato ($10), and Cozze ($10-mussels with white wine and chopped tomato) for starters, although we'd probably also consumed about 4 plates of bread by the time we ordered it. the Artichoke Salad was perfect for a summer day, cold and refreshing although i thought the Funghi di Prato was better since the mushroom was warm with the melted mozzarella and a generous dressing of balsamic vinegar. the mussels were a good option, although i liked the sauce that remained after all the mussels had been eaten, ideal for bread dipping.

for entrees, we all branched out and had something a little different (except MrsButtersworth and Jorts).  the Tagliatelle al Ragu ($14) would be the hands down favorite for that traditional and hearty italian flavor and flare.  and although raviolis usually disappoint me (usually for the limited portion), the Ravioli al Formaggio ($13.50) was a decent sized portion for an average appetite and the pink sauce the raviolis were served with were a winner. JimmyDean opted for the Penne All' Arrabbiata ($11.50) which had a nice kick to it, spicier than i've usually had at other italian restaurants; and Kiddo opted for a nightly special, Seafood Spaghetti ($16), which seemed to comprise of a lot of mussels and a light tomato sauce (i'm sure if he'd known we might've ordered a different appetizer sans mussels).

all the reviews i'd read about Malatesta, and the fact that no one else was ordering it, meant that i ordered the Spinach Gnocchi ($14.50), which ended being a pretty big hit of the night. or at least all the forks that were plucking gnocchi from plate seemed to indicate such. although i'd been worried about the gorgonzola sauce being too thick or cheesy, it ended up being neither. i always want to order creamy pastas but then end up regretting it when, about a quarter of the way through, i become overwhelmed with the heaviness of the dish. but not so with this Spinach Gnocchi. and the serving was pretty generous, since my friends were definitely not shy about stabbing gnocchi for themselves, and yet there was plenty for myself and to be shared.


good friends, great food, a surprise bday dinner. what more could a girl ask for?