on a scale of 1 to 10

"so on a scale of 1 through 10, in terms of attractiveness, what would you rate me?"

this is the question i harassed my guy friends with this weekend. hey, don't judge me. everyone needs a little reassurance some times. so what prompted this sudden self-esteem questioning?

ok, let me give a little background. while yes, i'm 25 yrs old (soon to be 26-yikes), i am still attending law school, and no matter how old or mature you may think you are, when you're in school, you're really in school. it's like college (sometimes even high school) but the age range of the students is much higher. and as happens to every girl in school, i have developed a little crush. let me re-emphasize the term LITTLE. yes, LITTLE. it's a totally hopeless crush (as they all tend to be-hence the term crush, otherwise a more suitable term like "like" would've been used) so if i do know you and you read this and i happen to see you, let's not delve into the question of "who is it?" because it's so silly.

regardless, Crush was at a birthday party i attended. here's a little-known fact about me: when i have a silly crush on someone (as is this case) i find it impossible to have normal interaction w/them. i literally revert back to high school where i have no idea how to be normal with that person. so instead i just ignore them for the most part. which is exactly what i did. i talked to everyone else there but not Crush. this worked for a while.

until i blacked out.

argh...i truly truly hate blacking out. anyone who knows me already thinks i'm goofy and reedonkulous and that's when i'm sober and conscious of what i'm doing. now imagine me just doing and saying whatever pops into my head. scary, right? i'm pretty sure that's what happens to me when i black out. and for all my friends, i'm taking this moment to say SORRY!!!!

some time during this party, i just hit the wall and everything after that point is one big blank. i've managed to piece together a few things from eyewitness testimonies:

1.i engaged in a conversation w/Crush, the contents of which i've gleaned was extremely embarassing. needless to say, i will not be able to look Crush in the eye from this moment on.

2.right after talking w/Crush, i became a stumbling mess. i apparently walked into the table and bumped into walls. then i went to the bathroom and Mouse, also extremely inebriated, followed me to help me hold my hair under the impression i was going to the bathroom to throw-up. once inside i let her know i was only in the bathroom to pee and Mouse felt embarassed but was too drunk to exit the bathroom. she recently apologized to me and wanted to reassure me she wasn't weird but since i have no memory of the incident it seems things all worked out.

3.i have a cut right above my left butt-cheek. no one has been able to shed any light as to how that got there.

4. there is a dispute about whether Mouse or Crush spilled beer on me.

and that's that! all i know is i woke up in Coleslaw's bed at 6:40 am with no idea about how i'd gotten there.

also, i dropped my phone into the toilet (never put your phone in your back pocket). it was wonky for the rest of the weekend but is hopefully back on track now. i've been letting it rest for now and we'll see what happens.

p.s.-just in case you were wondering, my guy friends being the good ppl that they are, all gave me positive ratings on a scale of 1-10.