Friday, December 23

we're such mad, genius evil scientists

moving into my new apartment in Brooklyn Heights has not been an easy task. i forgot how much stuff i'd accumulated (essentially all crap) and moving my new IKEA furniture was no easy feat either (especially with no elevator and a 2 floor walk-up).  thankfully i had Kiddo and D-Life to help me out with all my junk.

on Friday night, Kiddo met with me at my new apartment to help me move in half of my stuff (D-Life would meet me next day to move in the rest). i had been running late so Kiddo had been waiting for me at the local bar around the corner from my apartment. i was much later than i expected so i couldn't blame Kiddo when he arrived and advised me he had drank a (small) pitcher of whiskey while waiting for me.

it turned out the alcohol was a good thing because Kiddo used brute, drunken strength to single-handedly carry up all my IKEA furniture (and that shit ain't light). hooray for alcohol strength!

as a thank you, i took Kiddo out for dinner. since i haven't been in the BK Heights in a while, i deferred to Kiddo when he suggested two8two. i'm as big a fan of a burger as the next guy, but i haven't really jumped onto this whole "gourmet burger" trend. or so i thought at the time...

two8two wasn't very packed on that particular friday night. just enough people to make it seem like it was doing some decent business, but not overcrowded or loud.* Kiddo and i ordered the Breakfast Burger ($9) which consists of a burger topped with a fried egg, cheddar cheese, bacon, and two8two sauce. so good. the burger was cooked exactly how i asked for (medium rare) and they were really quick from the time i ordered to when i received my food. my younger cousin, Woof2, ordered the Billy Burger ($7.50), a burger with grilled onions, cheddar cheese, and two8two sauce. she wolfed the burger down and still talks about it to this day. she recently confessed that she had wanted to order another burger that night, but since it was her first time meeting Kiddo, she hadn't wanted to scare him.

In addition to the burgers, we ordered a side of French Fries ($3) and Greek Fries ($4) (fries topped with feta cheese and oregano). honestly, i preferred the regular fries over the Greek Fries. The feta was never really melty since it's applied after the fries are cooked. it still tastes fine, but since it wasn't what i was expecting, i just wasn't as big a fan.

the menu at two8two isn't that expansive, but they do make some decent cocktails. i ordered their Chipotle Habanero Bloody Mary ($9). make sure to ask for bacon salt on the rim. although not a big order, it's pretty tasty. i like bloody marys that aren't too strong in vodka, but have some spicy kick.

a few days later, i found myself at another new burger joint in BK Heights: Moo Burger. a little pricier than two8two but with a lot more choices and interesting menu items. the menu itself is actually a little tricky and confusing. for instance, The Smokehouse ($14) is described as pulled pork, onion ring, chipotle barbecue sauce and coleslaw. which left us scratching our heads: did this "burger" actually come with a burger patty or was it just straight pork? a quick inquiry with our waitress revealed that it was pulled pork, etc. on top of a hamburger patty. whoa, mind-blown. but then, when we inquired about The Buffalo Chicken ($13) (spicy buffalo sauce, carrots, celery, bleu cheese), we were advised that it didn't actually come with chicken, just the accoutrements of a buffalo chicken sandwich substituting a burger patty for the chicken. congrats Moo Burger, you've got me a little puzzled.

after thoroughly annoying our waitress with my incessant and ridiculous question, i still hadn't decided on what i wanted to eat. i had only just moved into my new apartment and had been pretty much eating out everyday. i was feeling a little unhealthy and a lot gross. initially when Egg and She, now my neighbors (!) had asked to go out to dinner, i'd indicated i wanted to go a veggie-healthy way. so they suggested Moo Burger since they knew that it had some salad options as well. of course, that all flew out the window once i saw their intriguing menu. in a moment of evil-genius-frankenstein-madness, i decided to ask whether i could order The Moo-Less ($12) with a burger patty. 

the whole inquiry process was a little amusing. when our waitress came back (for the 3rd or 4th time) to take our order, i had to ask a seemingly straightforward question: did the Moo-Less come with a burger? i'll give her props for being good-natured throughout this whole process, but she did sort of roll her eyes and added a slight sarcastic tone when she stated, "No. Moo-Less? Get it?" but you can't blame me for being a little confused (see above paragraphs). so i asked whether i could order the Moo-Less but with a burger and how much that would cost. she came back and advised it would be $14 to order the Moo-Less with a burger patty**. done and done.  Kiddo followed suit and ordered the same thing.

when the burger arrived, it was a monster. a burger patty topped with portabello, zucchini, squash, eggplant, roasted red pepper, pesto and tapenade. oh my! the burger was perfectly cooked and all the veggies and sauce made it savory and sweet at the same time. it's definitely a little messy to eat, so be prepared.  the pesto and tapenade, along with burger juices, makes the bottom of the sandwich get a little soggy over time. so if you're eating with your hands, be prepared for some sticky fingers. Kiddo also ordered a side of fries (which were delish-skinny shoe string fries that were nice and crispy) while i ordered a side of coleslaw (again trying to be healthy-but unless you like watery coleslaw, i'd skip this option).

*i recently went back and the place was packed. and due to the wooden decor of the restaurant, it is not amenable to noise control. this particular night there were 2 large parties of 6+ and it was impossible to hear anyone at my table talk.


**on a subsequent trip, Kiddo and i ordered the exact same meal and it was $17 ($5 for a patty).

Monday, December 12

Subway Surfing

when i used to drive everyday for my commute to work in NJ, i'd always be super annoyed at the traffic, horrible drivers, and the brights that all cars seem to have installed by default.  now that i'm officially a New York-er, i find myself getting annoyed at bad subway riders and sidewalk walkers. you know what they say: the grass is always greener...


i am constantly amazed at the amount of people who don't have basic commuting etiquette tho. i mean, it's pretty common sense, no? everyone knows that in (at least in the United States) you drive on the right side of the road. and that the left lane is for passing. yet, somehow, these same principles never apply to walking. why not?

recently, i had the pleasure of getting onto a packed subway during morning rush hour. no i'm not gonna complain about how crowded it was. i'm not that much a whiny priss. i understand, it's rush hour. and, in a fortuitous miracle, the car i was in wasn't that packed. it wasn't spacious to the point i could lounge on the multitude of empty seats, but, for once, we weren't packed in like sardines in a can.

which made the man standing in front me as a fortressed barricade to my access to the subway pole very frustrating. if i was a giant, this wouldn't be a problem because i could easily grab one of the overhead bars. unfortunately for me, i am a typical 5' 2" asian girl which means i always have to grab one of the vertical side bars or else risk having my arm pulled out of its socket in my attempt to use the overhead bar. and there was, literally, no way to maneuver around this man. his square-ish, rectangular body shape made him the perfect impediment. seriously, if this man isn't a door bouncer somewhere, he missed his calling in life. 


so i spent the rest of my time subway surfing, which i did surprisingly well at, with only 1 minor wipe-out.

Friday, December 9

My Pizza Was Wearing Flannel

Stinky was in town for a visit, so the old Smithie crew got itself together to hang out. catering to a vegetarian can be a little tricky at times, since i don't know that many and don't particularly adhere to the eating philosophy.  since i'd have to shell out money for dinner regardless of what we ate, i would prefer somewhere that i wasn't limited to wheatgrass, tofu, and bean sprouts (although i love all those foods except for the wheatgrass). 

luckily, L'asso came to the rescue. around the corner from Lombardi's (1 of NYC's pizza institutions), L'asso is as un-Lombardi's as you can get. if that term could be used as an adjective. which i've now created.

it's very thin crust pizza, with multiple variations of the Margherita (i've never seen so many different ways you can re-state the "tomatoes, basil, sauce, cheese" combination).  my eyes sort of glazed over that aspect of the menu, especially since i couldn't order any of the variations on the theme e.g. crisp prosciutto.  as to sauce-less pies, that's where L'asso's options shine. pizzas with apples, pistachios, walnuts, gorgonzola, various mushrooms, ricotta, etc.

the 4 of us decided to split a salad. fittingly, we ordered the Insalata L'asso ($13) which was a lightly dressed mixed greens salad hearts of palm, goat cheese, pistachio, asparagus, and fennel.  while the fennel was not particularly present, the rest of the salad was perfect.  the soft, fluffy goat cheese gave it the right amount of sharp flavor to balance the light oil and vinegar dressing. and i never say no to hearts of palm, which i liken to a softer version of bamboo shoots or slightly firmer than artichoke hearts.


we ordered a large pizza, which L'asso only serves in long skinny versions akin to a flattened loaf of italian bread (made out of thin crust pizza of course).  the only circular pie you'll get at L'asso is the personal pie. the thin pizza loaf is actually perfect for sharing, allowing you to eat more than 1 "slice" without feeling like a heffer.  the restaurant also allows you to order half and half on a pizza so you can sample some more flavors. 

we had decided to order a half Margherita (tomato sauce, cooked buffalo mozzarella, oregano, basil and EVOO) and half Mela (mozzarella, gorgonzola, asparagus, apple and truffle oil).  what we ended up with was half Margherita and half Tartufo (portabello pesto, mushrooms, mozzarella, rosemary and truffle oil). how, you ask, did that happen? simple: that's what happens when you let the out-of-town visitor make the order.

just a heads up about L'asso: it has a distinct hipster-vibe. i'm not anti-hipster (well not overly anti), and the fact that L'asso was hipster was part of the reason i picked it.  i figured if Stinky's going to come to NYC, then we should take her somewhere "trendy" and delicious at the same time. i mean, i've never been to Seattle but i would wager the NYC's got Seattle beat in the hipster uprising. about every employee at L'asso was wearing a fitted flannel shirt and skinny jeans. i rest my case.  so how did the hipster-ness of L'asso result in us getting a pizza we hadn't intended? the waiter, in his flannel and skinny jeans, skinny-tall body type, and intimate colloquialisms, had recommended the Tartufo when Bubby had asked for his "favorite" pizza*. when Stinky was ordering, she must've been brainwashed by the familiar mannerisms of the waiter, as well as his unique (and kind of attractive-i'm not gonna lie) hipster-ness. the rest of us were too busy wrapped up in conversation to notice, so it was a real surprise when our pizza showed up. 


the pizza itself was pretty good.  the Margherita was a little salty due to the sauce, but when eaten in conjunction with the sauce-less Tartufo, which is VERY mushroom-y, it was perfect. and between the 4 of us, the large was the appropriate amount of food to feel full, but not sleepy, and allowed us to continue the night at Spring Lounge for an after-dinner drink.

 
*i actually dislike this question. i don't care what the waiter likes to eat. i don't know him well enough to know what his tastes are like. is he vegetarian? does he prefer gluten-free? would he eat dim sum? these are all questions that invariably affect his taste in food. without knowing the answers to these questions, his opinion "moo" (like a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter-get that reference?). the only variation of the question i accept is "what's the most popular/most frequently ordered dish"? and even then, i actually only slightly care about this answer. i mean, who said i have to eat what the masses eat?