Wednesday, February 9

What Happened to Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice?!

Dear BitchyAdversary:

Was that bitchy obnoxious phone call really necessary? Did you get what you want from me? I don't think so considering I haven't withdrawn my Motion to Compel Discovery. and really, we're both women in the legal industry. and as my recent tweet has demonstrated, we're a gender that severely under-represented in the courtroom and as partners in law firms. i just looked you up on-line and congratulations! you're actually a named partner! maybe it's your supreme bitchy-ness that got you there? if so, i'll have to rethink my legal/career strategies. let's review the phone call:

you had your associate call me to request we withdraw our motion. i politely advised him why we think we're entitled to the defendant's employee file-they are a named defendant and this is an employment case. i also, respectfully, advised your associate, let's call him Noob, that we didn't think the information was subject to a Protective Order since it's obviously relevant, material, and discoverable under the rules. honestly, why would we create legal limitations on our use of information when we're entitled to the information free and clear under the court rules? silly Noob. so, unfortunately for Noob, at the end of the telephone conversation he had gotten nothing from us except my consent to review any Protective Order he drafted and to discuss it at a later time with no consent to withdraw our motion. this apparently did not make you happy.

within 10 minutes, you called my phone and promptly started to scream and yell at me. there really was no basis but i remember the following phrases:

1. who do you think you are?
2. I'VE been practicing in employment discrimination for over 15 years and i've NEVER encountered a situation like this or a person like you.
3. i spoke with your lead attorney and he had NO idea that you even filed this motion. i find that despicable.
4. i've never been jerked around and mislead by an attorney and your behavior's appalling.
5. now i only have 1 day to file an opposition, since you jerked us around.
6. will you withdraw your motion?
7. if you don't withdraw your motion, you must adjourn it to give us time to file an opposition.
8. i demand a response by 12 noon (while the time of the call is some time between 11:00 and 11:30 a.m.).

ok BitchyAdversary, you've had your say. now it's my turn. as i told you:

1. we're entitled to the information. this is an employment law case and your client is a named defendant. the substance of the matter took place while your client was employed as a supervisor of my client. um yeah, the employment file for your client, we want it. free and clear. like the discovery rules allow.

2. you want a Protective Order? ok, draft one up and send it to us to review. what attorney in their right mind agrees to a Protective Order they haven't looked at? when i asked you this, you said it was MY responsibility to draft it. what planet have you been practicing law on? WE'RE the ones requesting the information, why would we draft an Order that would limit our use of/access to it? silly BitchyAdversary. clearly, you just don't want to do the work. if that's the case, it's an easy problem to solve: JUST GIVE US THE DOCUMENTS.

3. we still don't have the documents. yeah, maybe i'd withdraw my motion if you had produced the documents we requested. or even SOME of the documents we requested. but, to date, we've got nothing.

4. did you really think your superior attitude was gonna get you what you wanted? by claiming you spoke with my lead attorney about this? yeah, i can imagine him saying something like "i'm not sure" or "did we?" but i can assure you, as the rules require, nothing goes out without his prior approval or review. so don't try to use my own lead attorney against me. at this point in time, i'm the one working on this case. and, yes, he makes the command decisions, but until settlement and trial time, he listens to me. i'm his go-to.

5. listen BitchyAdversary, you don't know me so i'll forgive you this time. if you did know me, you would know i'm generally pretty flexible. the attorney community is small, and i'm not one to want to make enemies. even when you're being an ass, i'll smile and bear it because i know we'll have to deal with each other in the future. plus, for all the bluster and bullshit, it's what happens in court that counts. you can scream and whine all you want, but that won't win your case, or even this motion. if you care that much, file your opposition. o wait, you don't want to spend the time to do it? and have to charge the client? and you waited 3 wks and now only have 1 day to write and file your opposition? not my problem. you explain it to your client.

and what did you end up with after this phone call? nothing. did you get a call back? nope. did i withdraw the motion? nope. am i inclined to withdraw the motion? nope. and will i be inclined to be cooperative towards any future requests? nope. ok, that last one's a lie. i can't be too bullheaded or else i'll find myself in front of a judge at some point getting reprimanded for being "discourteous".

o BitchyAdversary, what happened to little girls being made of sugar and spice and all things nice? if you had been, maybe this would've worked out better for you.

Very Truly Yours,

On a Whim

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