i am by no means a skinny girl. and i blame no one except myself. i don't have any reason for not being skinny except for my love of food and loathe of exercise.
but am i fat?
sometimes yes, sometimes no. (i think) every woman, at least once a week (and that's being generous), feels fat at some point. whether it's because a shirt/pant/skirt/dress is a little too tight that day, or after eating a ginormous meal, or just catching an unflattering angle in the mirror, but everyone feels a little unfabulous sometimes.
and then, other times, you just feel like a big fat heffer.
which is what happened to me this morning on the subway. there were no seats when i got on the train, so i shifted into the middle of the train and stood in front of the bench on the 4/5. within 10 seconds, a woman at the end of the bench waved at me and offered me her seat. i shook it off as someone being polite. "perhaps she's getting off at the next stop," i thought. then the gentleman next to her also offered me his seat. again, i politely rejected it, but i started to get that sinking feeling... then the skinny, 23+ year old woman sitting directly in front of me looked at me and said, "oh, here, have my seat. i'm sorry, i didn't see you."
and that's when i knew. all these people thought i was pregnant (which i am most definitely not).
by the third offer, too much attention had been drawn to me and i was too ashamed not to accept it.